


Pick up all your pieces, and go back to the start

by yourdadjustcallsmeKatyUNHhhh



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 2 lesbians in catholic school? Sign me up, Angst, Boarding School AU, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Kim is the best friend a person could ask for, Slow Burn, adore Delano has a lil crush on Miss Del taco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:17:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14603880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourdadjustcallsmeKatyUNHhhh/pseuds/yourdadjustcallsmeKatyUNHhhh
Summary: After her stepdad drinks too much, home life takes a turn for the worse. Trixie is shipped off to a catholic boarding school with nothing but a battered suitcase (with a Dolly Parton sticker on the handle) and her phone with a bunch of missed calls from her mother. Can a broken Trixie rebuild her hot mess of a life, and if not, can she make it slightly more bearable with a hot Russian smoker by her side?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I absolutely adore writing so I am so excited to be producing my first fic for this fandom! Let’s show a lil lesbian love for my two faves.
> 
> I am aiming to get out a chapter a week but I may manage to squeeze two a week if I’m feeling cheeky.
> 
> please please please leave comments!! They honestly help me more than I can explain.
> 
> Love you hookers  
> Xoxoxo

**Chapter 1**

Trixie watched out of the slightly tinted window as the black taxi screeched to a halt. She had arrived. And she still couldn’t believe it.

She quickly sent a wry smile to the driver who hadn’t spoken a word to her since he had left Trixies small home in rural Wisconsin a few hours ago. It had been a tough journey. With nothing but a frenzied and unfeeling goodbye hug from her mother before the front door slammed shut, she was left feeling numb. The whole taxi journey was spent with her nibbling her finger nails down shorter and shorter, chipping the pale pink nail polish she had applied the day before. She was alone with just the silent driver and her thoughts, swimming around in her brain and making her feel slightly sick if she dared look out of the window, watching the town she had never once left, disappear further and further behind her. 

As she stumbled out of the car with her pink suitcase bashing into her side, she couldn’t help but look up. Saying she was intimidated was an understatement. The rich brick walls seemed to ascend into the clouds, the clearly old building sporting brightly coloured flags waving above the castle turrets. The building was like something she has read about when she was little. A classic boarding school, standing proudly in the midst of acres of land. She knew she should be feeling lucky enough to attend a place like this, but right now, she didn’t want anything more than to hop back in that car and disappear into nowhere, with the driver who was seemingly a mute.

The car whizzed off back down the drive she had pulled up in and she was well and truly left alone. If she squinted, Trixie could vaguely make out a gaggle of schoolgirls in the car park, laughing loudly as they embraced their friends whom they had been apart with over the summer, their parents left to laugh fondly as they waited by their cars with luggage. Trixie gulped. Seeing mothers and fathers interact so happily with their children made a feeling of sickness twinge deep down in her stomach. She didn’t want to be reminded of the home she had left so hastily a mere few hours ago. Hell, she didn’t even want to be reminded of the past few weeks, where her step father began to drink more and his actions grew wilder. She didn’t want to think about last Tuesday, where her father had arrived late back from the pub, with nothing but an empty wallet and a burning temper.

Trixie shook it off. She had arrived here and she was away from that mess. She was 16 now, practically an adult, and nothing was going to stop her from doing well at Rupauls School For Girls


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I am British so I will be using the British education system but the school will still be set in America if you get me. Basically age 16-17 is year 12 and 17-18 is year 13. We group these years together as 6th form, so our faves will be studying at a year 12 level. 
> 
> Hope this clarified everything. As always keep commenting and leaving kudos if you feel like it yanno.
> 
> Love you hookers  
> Xoxoxo

Chapter 2

The heavy oak door was pushed open with Trixies fumbling hands. She knew she had to enter eventually- she couldn’t just stand outside gaping at the school until the year ended, despite her wishes. She had followed the dimly lit coridoor through another wooden door, before the eerie silence was broken as she came face to face with at least 20 schoolgirls, milling around and laughing loudly.

Trixie immediately felt the blood rush to her face. She had no idea where she was going or whom she was looking for, and on top of all that, she felt every girls eyes on her- sussing her out immediately as the new girl. With shaking hands, she dropped the handle on her suitcase, and fished out a crumpled piece of paper from her pockets of her baby pink dress.

Her mother had quickly handed it to her a few moments before the taxi had arrived. “This is what the head had emailed me” she mumbled, folding it in half and half again. “Just follow the instructions on here.” She couldn’t meet Trixies eyes. Realisation hit Trixie. She really was being shipped off. And for absolutely nothing. Deep deep down, she knew her mother was just doing it to protect her from her step father, but anger was still bubbling in her stomach as she snatched the paper out of her mothers hands, stuffing it in her pocket without giving her a second look.

She couldn’t understand why her mother hadn’t stuck up for her. Before her stepdad came into the picture, it had always been her, her mother and older brother, who had only recently left for university. They called themselves the three musketeers, able to do everything for themselves with a smile on their faces. That had all changed one night, when Trixies mother, apparently on a girls night out, had brought home someone.

It wasn’t that Trixies mother had promised Trixie and Kameron that she wasn’t going to meet someone, it just had never crossed their minds. But with the sounds coming from her mothers room in the middle of the night, a 8 year old and slightly scared Trixie had wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with her brother and hold his hand until the sounds grew silent.

They did. Eventually. Kameron, who had grown redder by the second, had finally persuaded Trixie to go back to her own room. With a quick kiss to her forehead, a 14 year old Kameron had clasped his sisters chubby hands and solemnly promised her that this wasn’t going to change the fact that they were the three musketeers

It hadn’t at first. A slightly awkward breakfast the next morning led to an introduction of Dom, who had stayed the night. Trixies mother had turned into another woman when she chirpily hopped down the stairs, a 6ft 3 hairy man following behind her. A nod of the head was aimed at Trixie and Kam before Dom’s attention was turned back to her mother, who was gushing at every low word his smoker voice rasped out. Trixie and her brother shared a raised eyebrow whilst buttering slices of toast. Right from the beginning they knew things were about to change.

And they did. Dom visisted the house every day since then and only 2 long months later, he decided to move in. He had made no effort to get to know Trixie or Kameron, mostly ignoring them if he passed them around the house and snapping to pass the remote control if they were watching TV. Kam tried his best to reassure Trixie that it would all blow over soon, that he would either leave or be the perfect father figure they had been longing for since their dad left when Trixie was only 3. Despite her desperate attempts, she couldn’t believe a word he said. It was 6 months down the line when it all started. It began with simple shouts if Trixies bus arrived late back from school, or if her favourite program was on slightly too loud. But it escalated. Trixie found angry red splashes appearing on her cheek, her arm, her  _thigh._

She knew it was wrong. She knew she should run to her mom and tell her of the harsh slaps that had greeted her recently, and sometimes, if he was particularly drunk, the cold lingering touches he lay on her chest or thighs. The hushed threats delivered to her ear straight after, of him hurting her mother the same way stopped her though, and she gulped back the biting fear and blinked back the tears to face another day without telling her.

Her mom became aware eventually. She wasn’t stupid. The slaps he delievered to both her and her mother when she was slightly older were delivered out of sight, with Dom knowing if Kameron saw, he wouldn’t hesitate to either call the police or put an end to it himself. Kam may have been only 18 when it took a turn for the worst, but he was strong. Much stronger than Dom, and standing much taller as well. So it remained ‘their little secret.’

Those words rang in her head when he would return from the pub late at night. The words rang in her head when he dragged her from her spot on her sofa, a rough smack across her face to silence her, and the words rang in her head when he raped her, Trixies mother and brother fast asleep in bed upstairs. Her mother may have known about the hits and punches he delivered, but she certainly didn’t know about this. And when he leaned above Trixie, groaning as his grip loosened from where his hands forced down Trixie’s, she wanted nothing more than to die.

Suddenly, Trixie came back to reality. She wasn’t in her cramped and dark childhood home, but in a towering hallway, surrounded by girls her own age who were bunched off into little groups. The more she looked around, she felt like she was standing in Hogwarts, with the cold tiled flooring below her feet and the rich burgundy paint reaching up to the impressive ceiling. She felt instantly that she was sticking out, her lacy pink dress and white cowboy boots standing out for all the wrong reasons. She didn’t belong here. Still, she felt her feet drag her and her suitcase towards the dark haired woman standing amidst the teenage girls.

“Miss Zamolodchikova, I have told you a thousand times, jewellery like that is not permitted on campus” she heard the woman said warily, her black glasses sliding down her nose as she scolded a blonde girl in front of her.

“But Miss Visage, you don’t understand. This is my culture” the blonde replied quickly, her seemingly normal American accent at the start switching to a thick and heavy Russian accent without a moments hesitation. Trixie blinked quickly at the surprise, wanting the blonde girl to turn around so she could get a look at the accent girl, and whatever jewellery she was wearing.

“Take that thing off your neck Katya, and for goodness sake, try and stay out of trouble this year,” the woman, seemingly Miss Visage huffed at the girl, rolling her eyes whilst patting her on the head fondly before diverting her gaze directly to Trixie, whose eyes were on them throughout the whole interaction. She froze, as the teacher flashed her a grin.

Before she could speak, the blonde girl had followed her eyes until she turned around facing Trixie as well. Trixies breath caught in her throat as she looked at the girl- brown orbs meeting green. She was totally and utterly beautiful, with or without a stupid cigarette necklace she was sporting, and as the girl beamed a red smile at her before scampering off, Trixie felt a little bit sick.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so a lot of this story will be based on my experiences at a Catholic boarding school so party 
> 
> Keep commenting and leaving kudos hookers  
> Xoxoxo

“So dear, you must be new?” Miss Visage said, loud enough to snap Trixie out of her sudden daze and turn back around from where she had been staring at that Katya girl before she turned the corner.

“Uh, yes. I’m Trixie” the blonde offered a small smile. She held her hands together, feeling them get sweaty as the trembled, well aware she was panicking. She had no idea who she was looking for or where she was meant to go. At least she knew she was at the right school, checking the sign 4 times as the cab turned in, and at the right time.

“Mattel? Of course! Headmaster Rupaul told me all about you!” She said, making Trixies eyes widen with fear. “Don’t worry dear, all good things of course! Your music audition was all he could talk about for days!” She laughed.

Trixie felt her shoulders relax a little from their previous tensed up position. After realising that the brochure her mother had slipped her a couple of months ago was for a school for the gifted and talented, Trixie had scoffed in her mother’s face before stomping upstairs to her room. She had always been a plain Jane, nothing special or gifted about her. In fact, she hadn’t realised her mother even knew she sang and played guitar and piano until she came into her room that evening and asked her to apply for the music scholarship. Trixie has rolled her eyes, agreeing to try but with a sense of failure looming in her heart. The chance of a scholarship to get out of her house and away from her stepdad was an opportunity not to be missed, but she could already feel the disappointment of building her hopes up.

This happened exactly 2 nights after It All Went Wrong, and even her mother, who had failed to stick up for her before realised she had to do something before it was too late. She had never paid attention to her daughters musical abilities, but knew that deep down, something was within Trixie that was special, even if some people couldn’t see it.

And thank god Headmaster Rupaul saw it. A few weeks after she had agreed to audition, she had took the train down to the school. She was late to audition, with other applicants having theirs a month or so before, but right as Trixie stepped foot into the music building, her heart was already set on the place, and she hadn’t even been inside the main building yet. A smile and nodding of the headteacher and head of music was all the confirmation Trixie needed as she sung to know that she hadn’t completely bombed it, and maybe there was something ‘gifted and talented’ about her.

And now here she stood, acceptance letter beneath her pyjamas in her suitcase and her smile free, as she followed Miss Visage through the endless corridor before they had reached some old stone steps, leading to yet another oak door.

“Ah! Kim!” Michelle’s voice rang out, looking over Trixies shoulder to where a beautiful Asian girl with the most immaculate makeup stood, tucking her phone into her jeans pocket. She offered a smile to Trixie, who returned it. She was shocked at how nice and polite everyone seemed so far, a change from her ordinary state school back in Wisconsin.

“Can you take Trixie Mattel up to boarding and check what room she’s in” Michelle continued, gently pushing Trixie over to Kim like she was a young child at nursery trying to make friends, and not a 16 year old girl with a mind of her own. “I was going to ask Katya but then I thought it best to have Trixie alive for her first day” she said, earning a laugh from both Kim and Trixie, who’s heart leapt at the sudden mention of the accent girl with the necklace. Trixie knew immediately that she wanted to befriend her.

“Of course Miss Visage! I was just heading up there now” Kim said, hopping up the stairs to the oak door and typing a code into the little side machine before the door buzzed open. “You coming?” She asked, turning to face Trixie.

Trixie lugged her suitcase up the few steps as Kim held the door wide open for her. As she passed the girl, she got a glimpse of her immaculate makeup close up.

“Your beat is insane!” Trixie said in admiration, as she turned to see Kim dragging her own luggage up to meet her.

“That’s funny...” she began, in between quiet curses as the case ran over her foot multiple times. “Because your makeup is the first thing I noticed about you! Our mugs are super similar don’t you think?”

Trixies heart raced for joy at the resemblance Kim saw between the two. 5 minutes into a conversation with this girl and Trixie knew she was going to befriend her.

“I guess I kind of see it” she agreed, noticing the way both her an Kim sharpened their contour, overlined their lips and drew thick eyeliner. The bone structure of them both was almost identical also.

“How bout we trade makeup secrets in my room later like the industry professionals we are?” Kim smiled, flipping her shoulder length angled bob behind her ear and making Trixie scream with laughter.

“I’m down if you are” she smiled, offering her pinky finger to Kim, who in return, linked them firmly.

“Deal”

///// The girls slowly made their way up the never ending steps before the soft silence that was surrounding the school suddenly turned into the shouts of girls, getting closer and closer as Kim led Trixie over to a door with a sign that read  _Common Room_

“You nervous?” Kim asked as she studied Trixies tapping toes and fiddling with the zipper on her suitcase. Trixie painted a bright smile on her face.

”Not at all” she assured her and Kim narrowed her eyes.

”don’t worry doll, there’s nothing to be nervous about. Us girls aren’t bitches I promise” she said softly, making Trixie’s heart beat a little slower. The first thing that Trixie noticed when Kim opened the door was how excited all of the girls seemed to be reunited with one another and be back at school. Excitement at going to school was something Trixie had never been used to, instead loathing the mornings she’d wake up to have to spend another day in hell, so seeing the girls so gleefully embrace one another whilst laughing at the upcoming school year made Trixie furrow her eyebrows in confusion. The second thing that Trixie noticed was the shock of bright red lipstick popping up right in front of her, in the form of a girl who looked familiar. The lipstick belonged to Katya’s lips, who were stretched into a wide open smile. “Glad to see you joined us for the school year Barbie. Fasten your seatbelt” she laughed, biting at her bottom lip before disappearing yet again into the crowds of girls, before Trixie could open her mouth to respond.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment and kudos hookers   
> Xoxoxo

4 or 5 hours later and it was the evening. Trixie was lying in the boarding living room on the giant L shaped sofa, with Adore squashed on one side- who was her new roommate, with temporary green hair but a permanent red, toothy grin that reminded her of the mysterious Katya- who had disappeared after popping up and not returned all afternoon. Sasha had her head on Trixies shoulder oh her other side. Sasha was her other roommate and was undeniably beautiful, from her smooth bald head to the careful freckles dotted all over her cheek. Trixie was intimidated by her at first, spotting her laying on the bottom bunk she shared with Adore the minute she walked into the room, but Sasha noticed the company, instantly getting up and embracing Trixie in a tight hug, before introducing herself. The hug had warmed Trixie up inside, feeling appreciated. Something she hadn’t felt in a long long time. The warm, fuzzing feeling lasted all throughout the afternoon, while unpacking her mostly pink wardrobe, whilst making up her single bed by the window and plugging her laptop into charge, and while making her way down to dinner, with Adore and Sasha walking beside her before they sat down in the dining room with Kim. The dining room was another thing that made Trixies heart fuzz. It reminded her off all the magical stories she had read, where the tall oak panels on the wall climbed high, brightly coloured house flags hung from the ceiling, and the balcony hanging above them sat the teachers, each in their finest evening wear. Trixie couldn’t help but smile as she caught headmaster Rupauls eyes, and he gave her the smallest wink from where he was sitting above her, at the head of their table. Even the food was good, which was a change from the usual frozen meals she got at home if her mom remembered to cook, or the cheap, processed junk her school kitchen served. Instead, she was sat at a long wooden table, chatting makeup with Kim opposite her and Adore and Sasha comparing classes next to her. Once in her life, Trixie felt a friendship beginning to form with all of them, and she was happy.

The warm fuzzy feeling could be felt as her mind returned to the room she was currently in. She scanned it quickly, taking in the girls lounging on the many brightly coloured beanbags scattered all over the floor, lazily typing away on phones, or the girls snuggled up in sofas or armchairs. She had been told all about the boarding facilities when the acceptance letter came in the mail, and Trixies eyes had widened at the thought of 30 girls living with her in her boarding house.

There were 3 other boarding houses, each owning one corner of the main building. The whole campus was based downstairs, with state of the art classrooms within the old and impressive building, however the upstairs was a different story. Her boarding house, Orchards, had a bright pink door that led to the living room, whose walls were a pale yellow, adorned with collages of artworks and photos of past students. Trixie felt a smile tugging at her lips as her eyes left the walls and focused back on the crappy romcom on the large TV, that no one was paying attention to.

In the few fours she’d been here, she had also gotten to meet nearly every girl in her house. They had all made a visit to her shared room, with a quick introduction and a trade of numbers, every girl that is except Katya- who hadn’t been seen at all for a while.

Trixie had also received her timetable, which earned a grin from her as she fondly saw the classes she was actually excited to be taking. Of course music was at the top of her list, then English, then chemistry and then her least favourite of all of her choices. French.

It wasn’t that she hated it, it’s just that she had a space to fill and she was a semi boring girl from Milwaukee with no special interests or talents so she had to choose something. And it was only now that Trixie was beginning to realise her mistake, especially when she saw the accent girl, and Sasha decided to tell her that she was fluent in Russian as well as English.

Before the thought even left her mind, the pink door had flew open and Trixie swallowed hard, her thoughts interrupted. Katya entered, her wet blonde hair pulled into an untidy bun on the top of her head and round black frames sitting on her nose. Only when she was completely makeup free and the red lipstick was off could Trixie get a proper look at her face and realise the girl had freckles. It made Trixies heart pound a little.

Katya’s eyes scanned the room for a few moments, an unreadable look crossing her expression before her eyes met Trixies, and she rushed over to the sofa.

“Hey Barbara! How is you? Move up Sasha you bitch” Katya began, shoving Sasha playfully so she could hop in between her and Trixie- who had a look of bewilderment on her face at how forward this girl was.

“I’m okay thanks. It’s Katya right?” Trixie started polity, realisation hitting her that the girl hadn’t even told her her own name yet.

“Oh silly me I forgot to introduce myself!” She laughed, turning to face Trixie which resulted in them being closer than they already were. If Trixie focused hard enough, she could feel the heat radiating off Katyas knee and it touching hers.

“You weren’t at dinner?” Trixie said, before mentally slapping herself. She wasn’t actively looking for her. But then again, why was she bothered so much. Who cares what Katya thinks.

“Were you looking for me?” Katya smirked slyly.

Oh she definitely cared what Katya thought.

“No-I-it’s just...” Trixie stuttered, feeling her self grow very hot all of a sudden, Katya’s proximity not helping at all.

“So what classes are you taking?” Katya said casually, changing the subject. Trixie felt herself frown. Could this girl not hold a conversation for more than a few minutes?

“Uh, music, English, chemistry and French” she said, her voice trailing off at the end when she saw Katyas face light up at the dreaded F word.

“Ooh la la! J’aime la langue française! Parlez-vous couramment? She gushed and Trixie felt herself groan.

“Is everyone here bilingual” she muttered into her hands, earning a loud laugh from Katya.

“No mama, I speak Russian and Spanish as well as French and English” she grinned with a bite to her lips and Trixie rolled her eyes.

“Oh god.”

“But your a musician right?” Katya pressed Trixie to go on.

“Yep, a musician first and foremost. French was just a period I had to fill up.” Trixie explained.

“What do you play?” Katya asked making Trixie smile. She leaned forward with her chin resting on her knees and looking genuinely interested.

“I sing, but I play guitar and piano too. I want to learn cello this year” she said sheepishly, but Katya didn’t look the least bit judgemental.

“You must be so talented! Promise me you’ll sing for me one time?” She proposed and Trixie nodded.

“Only if you do my French homework.”

“You’ve got a deal Barbie.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I received a really rude comment last chapter about how my writing sucked and my story was unoriginal and it was straight up mean. I want to continue writing this but to be honest, it was knocked me down a lil bit. Idk, what are your guys opinions?  
> Xoxo

Chapter 5

Trixie woke up before her alarm. That never happened. I mean, technically it didn’t count as she was more or less awake the whole night but it was before her alarm that she decided to get out of bed.

The first night wasn’t bad. Lights out was at half 10, and by then, Trixie was so mentally exhausted from the days events that she gladly crawled into bed in her pyjamas, whilst Adore and Sasha took turns in the shower rooms next door. The moment however, when the lights went out, Trixies heart rate sped up a little and the realisation that this was her home for the next 2 years was dawning on her, as well as the fact that she hadn’t slept away from home in a long long time. The pressure was on to make a good impression tomorrow if she didn’t want the next two years to be absolute hell.

She didn’t think it would be. The girls were nice enough, and the homely and energetic environment was a change to her family house, but something in her wanted to push herself. She wanted to become the best version of herself this year. She wanted to transform into Trixie Mattel with just the good parts.

And so, when she got out of bed at half 6, the first thing she did was smile and stretch, like she saw in movies, and she could feel that her day had already improved just a fraction.

The next thing Trixie did was look over to the bunk bed opposite her single. Adore and Sasha were still fast asleep, with the early morning light barely creeping through the curtains. Trixie saw from where her phone sat on her bedside table that it was only 6:03, and she had just under an hour before the other girls would be getting up to get ready for the first day of term.

Trixie was never usually eager, but she couldn’t stop her arms reaching for the brand new uniform folded neatly in her top drawer and laying it out carefully at the end of her bed. She never wore uniform at her old school, which probably led to Trixie being so out there with her fashion sense. It was the only way she could stand out in a school like that, even if she stood out for all the wrong reasons.

Trixie decided she wasn’t going to stand out this year. She’d be a good girl, get good grades and make good friends and stay out of trouble. She wouldn’t let herself get affected by bitches this year, and she couldn’t feel it, not with the girls in her house being so kind to her yesterday.

The sound of her stomach grumbling interrupted her from her thoughts. There was still an hour and a half until breakfast and Trixie was absolutely starving. All of her food she brought with her was still sitting in her suitcase at the bottom of their shared wardrobe and Trixie couldn’t be bothered to quietly get it. Instead, she got up, deciding to go to the bathroom to pee to give her something to do.

As Trixie fumbled in the half dark out of the dooor without making too much noise, she managed to escape her room and cross the completely empty hallway. The school was noticeably old, but in the early hours of the morning with only the sound of her breath to accompany her, the school seemed to grow even eerier.

Right as Trixie pushed open the slightly squeaky door to the bathrooms, her chest jumped out of her skin. 

“Fuck!” She cursed under her breath, the image of Katya sitting on the windowsill with the moonlight illuminating her outline scaring the utter shit out of Trixie, who thought the was alone. “It’s 6am and still dark out, what the hell are you doing here?” Trixie hissed, suddenly forgetting that she needed the toilet, and jumped up onto the wide windowsill opposite Katya. Now she was close enough, she could feel the bitter chill from the slight crack in the open window and saw the cigarette that was hanging from Katyas slender fingers.

“I could ask you the same thing Tracey” Katya yawned, before taking another drag of her cigarette.

“It’s Trixie... and I asked you first” She said quietly, resting her head against the cold glass pane.

“I couldn’t sleep” she answered simply, and that seemed to be a good enough reason for Trixie.

“Me neither” she nodded and Katya turned to look her in the eyes.

“Are you nervous for today?” She asked and Trixie smiled sheepishly. “You needn’t be. I’m in your French class, Sasha takes chem, and my roommate from last year, Ginger, takes music. There’s loads of other girls too. We will look after you” She said, patting Trixies knee, which in all honestly made her heart race a little. She convinced herself it was the early morning and lack of sleep.

“So what do you take?” She asked quickly, taking her mind of her pulsating chest.

“French, obviously. Advanced maths, art and media.”

“Holy shit, you must be clever” Trixie raised her eyebrows, impressed, and it made Katya chuckle slightly.

“Not at all. I can barely spell my name. Languages and numbers just click for me, and I guess I’m just artsy. I couldn’t get up and sing in front of a ton of people like you do” she shrugged.

“Hey Katya?” Trixie started, a little surge of confidence coming to her.

“Yeah?” She replied after puffing smoke into the orangey yellow morning sky.

“Can you say something in Russian?” Trixie smiled nervously and recieved the biggest grin in reply.

“Я думаю ты красивая. Я не могу дождаться, чтобы провести с вами следующий год. я уже могу сказать, что gis будет хорошим годом” She said, without a single falter in her voice. Trixies face dropped from a dopey smile to one of pure amazement. Something in her felt funny, and she subconsciously pushed it down as Katya leaned out of the window to stub her cigarette on the brickwall. Her breathing faltered.

“Come on” Katya said quietly, returning to her soft Russian accent with a hint of Bostonian, whilst picking up Trixies empty hand. We can get ready then head down to breakfast together.”

Trixie’s hand didn’t leave Katya’s until she entered her room.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you all are so lovely, I decided to upload again. I am really enjoying writing this and I can’t thank you all enough for your support, it means a lot
> 
> Keep commenting xoxoxo

Chapter 6

Trixie’s first class was English. She was looking forward to it. She had always been top set back at Brushthorne High, with her teacher constantly urging her to read more, like she used to. Trixie had abandoned her reading habits over the past few years, with more important things to think about, but she was rather pleased to find she still had the knack for it.

Kim had led her over to the English department, over on the west side of school. The minute she pushed open the door separating the department and the corridor, Trixie felt herself relax. It was probably the least intimidating thing she had seen so far, with walls painted a pale blue and huge, colourful display boards plastered all over, with book themes all over. An Alice in Wonderland one caught her eye, marvelling at the shiny paper used for the Eat-me Drink-me items.

“I forgot all about how much I love this place” Kim said quietly, pulling out her timetable and checking what room they were in. She had been lucky enough to be placed with Kim in the top set, with English being a popular subject amongst the girls, however Kim had warned Trixie that their class wouldn’t be any bigger than 10.

“Yeah it’s cute” Trixie replied, stopping outside the door with ENG2 on it. Trixie had heard that she had a good teacher this year, someone by the name of Miss Del Rio.

As Trixie checked her watch for the fifth time since leaving breakfast, she noticed a familiar face walking towards her and Kim.

“Trix! You didn’t tell me you were in my English!” Adore yelled happily, grabbing the slightly bewildered girl who was standing next to her, and pulling her along to run to where Trixie and Kim were standing.

“Yep, with Miss Del Rio right?” Trixie asked and Adore bit her lip and nodded, a smirk painted on her red lips (that were asked to be wiped off after breakfast, but neither Katya nor Adore listened to the dress code).

“Gotta love a bit of Miss Del Taco” Adore murmured teasingly, making Kim scoff from where she was scrolling through her phone and the girl next to her shook her head in a way that a mother does when her child does something stupidly funny. That caused Adores eyes to light up.

“Oh Trix, meet Blair! Blair this is my roomie Trixie” Adore said, introducing Trixie to the red headed girl standing in front of her. Her hair was neatly curled into a wavy 50s style, and she managed to pull off the ugly green, black and gold uniform with sophistication and elegance.

“Lovely to meet you-“ Trixie began, holding her hand out, before Blair interrupted her with a tight hug instead.

“And you! Adore told me so much about you on our walk here. It’s nice to see a new face around here!” She laughed lightly, the kind of laugh you could imagine a fairy doing- twinkly and dainty. Trixie was just about to respond before the door behind her was swung open. A tall, slim teacher with makeup heavier than her and Kim’s combined strode out of the room, black kaftan going nicely with her thick pearly necklace and black headband that kept all of her fiery orange hair in its place in its nice neat bun. She had an air of confidence about her, that left Trixie with her eyes wide.

“Come on in, let’s get this year over with” the teacher said, her unusually deep voice for a woman silencing the girls around the door, including a few more that had joined the crowd. Trixie glanced at Kim who nodded before she made her way into the classroom first, the line of girls following closely behind her.

“I’ve not put a seating plan up because you are not 4 years old and I trust that you value your education at your ripe old age” Miss Del Rio announced to the class, who were standing behind desks waiting for her to come in. Trixie found herself squeezed into a space beside Kim and Blair, with Adore standing next to Blair, her eyes following the intimidating Miss Del Rio around the room as she made her way to the front of the room, flashing a smile at them before telling them to sit.

The rest of the lesson past quickly, the 10 or so students, being introduced to the course they would be taking and what it would entail. Surprisingly, Trixie didn’t find herself being scared away, instead listening intently and already planning her homework schedule in her head, at the mention of a 500 word essay every week. Luckily, she had taken English Lit, and was inwardly bouncing up and down and the thought of being able to recover her old habits.

As the loud bell went to signify the end of the lesson, Trixie and the other girls stood up quickly, gathering her books to take to the common room for her free before the hellish double French. Right as Trixie reached the door, a sharp voice called her name.

“Miss Mattel, would you mind staying behind for a few moments?” Miss Del Rios voice rang out.

Trixies blood ran cold, being instantly reminded of her time at Brushthorne, where the teachers only wanted to keep her behind after lesson to nosily questipn how she had acquired a new bruise on her arm, or what that red mark was on her neck. Trixie was used to blaming it on her clumsiness, or her cat that she didn’t actually have, which made the teachers nod and excuse her, not bothering to get involved in something that was more complex than made out. They didn’t want to face the drama.

So when Trixie stepped aside and let all the other girls pass, with Kim promising to wait outside so she could take her to the common room, her hands trembled from where they clasped her books tightly to her chest. When the last girl by the name of Serena left the room, Trixie slowly turned to face the teacher, a nervous smile painted on her face.

“Calm down sweetheart, I’m not going to eat you” Miss De Rio laughed as she came over to where Trixie was standing and sat on the desk in front of her. “I just wanted to know how you’re settling in. Are Adore, Blair and Kim treating you well?” She asked, a softness coming to her voice that she hadn’t heard from her before. Trixie’s pulse relaxed, and she found herself genuinely smiling back.

“Yes! They are lovely! And I’m really enjoying it here so far” she answered honestly and Miss Del Rio nodded quickly.

“I’m glad to hear it. Now run along, don’t want to keep you” she laughed, getting up and returning to her desk.

“Thank you Miss Del Rio!” Trixie said cheerfully, leaving the room to meet Kim with a slight skip in her step.

————

Her free hour past quickly, as Trixie took her time to get to know a few people in her year who weren’t in her house. She had a pleasant converstation with a blonde called Courtney, who was also a singer and would be in her music class. She couldn’t wait for music tomorrow.

Katya had agreed to collect her from the common room to show her to French. The girl entered the room, and immediately Trixie felt funny inside, a feeling she was beginning to feel when she saw Katya or someone mentioned her. Trixie knew she was so intrigued to Katya, and knew her strange feelings just meant that she was going to become a close friend with her.

Apparently everyone loved the Russian, as a few jokey cheers echoed when the blonde entered the room yelling “new year hoes!” A complete difference from her soft spoken manner in the toilets this morning. Katyas bright blue orbs quickly found Trixie’s as she scanned the room, her eyes lighting up as she rushed over to Courtney and Trixie’s spot on the soft purple couch.

“Let’s go barbie! Madame Monsoon doesn’t like waiting!” She said, grabbing Trixies soft palms and pulling her up with an unusual force she wouldn’t have expected from the slight girl.

“Jesus, you don’t need to pull my arm out Kat!” Trixie laughed as they began walking out of the room, Katya throwing her math books on the ground with the careless promise that she would “collect them later.”

“Stop being dramatic” she rolled her eyes and shoving Trixie gently.

“So what’s Miss Monsoon like?” Trixie asked Katya, feeling the pit of nerves at the bottom of her gut.

“Red headed French woman who doesn’t take any bullshit but is dead nice, is probably the best description I can find” Katya deadpanned and Trixie laughed nervously.

“I swear, is everyone at this school ginger?” Trixie asked furrowing her eyebrows, and Katya let out a breathy screech of laughter, making Trixie grin.

As Trixie and Katya entered the classroom, everyone else was already seated and their faces turned in their directions when they pushed open the door as quietly as they could. Trixie spotted Miss Monsoons rolling of her eyes at the sight of the newcomers.

“Dépêchez-vous mesdames! vite maintenant! Je te reconnais, Katya, mais qui est la jeune femme assise à côté de toi?” The room fell silent as Trixie and Katya flopped down into a desk at the back, Katya looking expectantly at her. Trixie knew that was a question directed at her but she had no idea what was said. She could only recognise the word Katya, the rest dissolving into the memories she had of year 9 French.

Trixie widened her eyes at Katya and shook her head slightly, practically begging for help, as Miss Monsoon was still staring at her, not budging until she answered the question.

“Bonjour Madame, je m’appelle Trixie Mattel je suis nouveau ici” Katya hissed under her breath and Trixie recited it quietly, stumbling over a few words, and pronouncing nouveau something like moono. However, Miss Monsoon nodded curtly.

“parlez-vous une autre langue en dehors de l'anglais?” She spoke again, making Trixie silently groan that she wasn’t finished. Everyone had turned around to stare at her at this point. As Katya opened her mouth to whisper the answer, Miss Monsoons voice cut her off. “Without you, this time Miss Zamolodchikova.”

Trixie felt a little bit sick, and Katya looked apologetically at her and Trixie looked around the room completely helpless. A tight squeeze of her hand was offered by Katya under their desk, as she gulped before opening her mouth to say one of the only French things she could remember: “oui?”

It was spoken more as a question and Miss Monsson couldn’t help the pitying look she casted on Trixie as she said “chose sûre”, making Katya’s grip tighten on her hand.

As Miss Monsoon actually began with the class, Trixie hid her head in her hands, never feeling this red and embarrassed before.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it’s half term for me, I’ll baso be uploading whenever I can because we all know I can’t stick to a schedule.
> 
> Thank for the comments babes keep em coming xoxox

“Kat, you don’t understand. I don’t know any French!” Trixie stressed for the second time that evening. The girls were all in the boarding living room after Miss Visage ordered them all takeaway. Something homely was in the atmosphere, with Miss Visage sitting on one of the beanbags and speaking to all of the girls as if they were her own. Katya’s position in particular was very cosy, with her leaning on the arm of the sofa, and Trixie’s head against her side, Kat’s arm tucked around her. It was comfy and felt calming, but Trixie couldn’t stop babbling about her disatorous French lesson.

“Honestly Kat, I have never felt so intimidated in my life! She thought I was stupid! All the girls were laughing at me!” She groaned, tucking her face into the soft grey cotton of Katya’s nighttime jumper, the intoxicating smell of Katyaness taking over the receptors in Trixie’s nostrils.

“They weren’t Trix! And neither was Monsoon. I just think she accepts that French isn’t the subject you excel at” Katya spoke calmly and tactfully, stroking a strand of Trixie’s curls while looking down at the girl.

The French lesson hadn’t gone well. Trixie refused to put her hand up or answer any more questions, and thankfully, Miss Monsoon accepted that, noticing how uncomfortable Trixie was, and the worrying glances Katya kept shooting her way, especially when the grating Jade Jolie who sat at the front of the class would turn around and smirk at Trixie, after answering a question in almost flawless French.

“I swear, if that bitch shoots me one more damn look...” Trixie muttered through her teeth, clasping her hands into tight fists as Jade put her hand up yet again.

“Then I will cut her down. I never liked her anyway.” Katya promised under her breath, without the hint of humour in her voice. Trixie quickly rested her head against Katya’s shoulder in gratitude.

Miss Monsoon hadn’t kept her back after class, but two girls by the names of Valentina and Tatianna, waited for Trixie and Katya to exit the room, before making their way over to talk to them both.

Both expressed their feelings of hatred towards the irritating Jade, who seemed to never get a question wrong, but also their sympathy towards Trixie, who obviously was more than incapable at passing the class, the weight of the homework she had been set weighing heavily in her arms knowing that she would have to give it to Katya to complete.

“And just think, tomorrow you have music. That’s you Tracey! That’s what you excel at!” Katya said enthusiastically, making the slightest hint of a smile appear on Trixie’s face at the mention of that particular class.

“Yeah I guess I have something to look forward to” she agreed slowly, reaching for another slice of pizza in the box in front of her and Katya. After reaching back into Katya’s arms, Trixie swore she could see a soft smile appear on Kim’s lips from accross the room.

———— 

Trixie woke at a normal time the next morning, after Sasha but before Adore, who apparently didn’t get up before 5 minutes until breakfast. Sasha was sat up at the end of her bed, still in her pyjamas, but with a full face of makeup on, scrolling through Instagram when Trixie awoke.

“Hey doll! You excited for Chem today?!” Sasha said,without any sarcasm in her voice. Sasha was clever. Very clever. But also very creative. She could have chosen whatever subjects came to her mind first to study and still get A stars but in the end, she went with Philosophy, Art, Chem and history.

Trixie hummed in reply, before stretching her joints to the point where they cracked lightly, warning a wince from Sasha. She reached for her makeup bag underneath her bed, pulling out her mirror to do her own face. 

————

Chemistry passed without any problems, her small class with Mr Barry, a small, blonde man who was in his mid 30s and already balding, seeming okay enough. As soon as that class was over, she had only one more of the day before the rest would be frees.

Courtney had been instucted by Katya to collect Trixie from outside the science block to take her to the music building, a completely seperate space from the main school. As soon as they were within a few yards of the place, Trixie could hear soft violin music coming from one of the practise rooms and instantly, she felt happy. This was her chance to redeem herself from the disatourous french lesson. The class was full of maybe 15 students, each with musical abilities. Ginger, Katya’s old roommate, was sat banging out on a keyboard as Trixie entered the room with Courtney at her side, and she spotted that the violin music wasn’t coming from a practise room, but instead this room, a girl with long black dreads piled on top of her head slowly playing a rather somber tune.

She came over to where Courtney and Trixie were sitting, and enthusiastically greeted them, introducing herself as ‘Thorgy’. Apparently it was a nickname that the teachers didn’t seem to mind, and no one actually called her by her real name. 

Adore strutted in 5 minutes after Mr Matthews, a short smiley man with quite a high voice, actually started the lesson. Trixie grinned, happy to have another lesson with the girl. Aore flopped down into a spare seat, just in time for them all to go round the class and introduce themselves and what instruments they play.

Trixie was told her first assignment would be to perform an arrangement of an instrumental song. Instantly, her mind started flipping through all the classical music she had heard through the years and which would be best to fit some country lyrics to. She couldn’t wait.

Trixie left the classroom when the bell sounded to find Katya standing outside, fiddling with something in her pocket. When Trixie looked closely, she saw she was fishing for a cigarette without Mr Matthews, who was leaving the room, seeing.

“Oh Katya!” Mr Matthews said, a little surprised to see the girl. “Don’t want to burst your bubble dear, but music never was your strong suit!” He laughed good naturedly, earning an eye roll from Katya.

“Sir, my voice is better than Beyoncé’s and you know that!” She exclaimed, putting her hand to her chest in mock offence. 

“Trixie dear, don’t ever get Katya to sing for you. I’m still scarred from year 9 music” he chuckled to himself, walking down the corridor back to his office, and leaving Katya and Trixie alone.

“I miss that guy” Katya nodded after him, making Trixie giggle.

“Have you got a lesson?” Trixie asked her, looking at her empty hands.

“Well I’m supposed to go to an introductory lesson on our maths course but in all honesty I can’t be bothered to go. I wanted to show you something instead” she grinned evilly, and Trixie frowned.

“Show me what? I don’t trust you” she smirked, as Katya grabbed her hand and pulled her down the corridor. 

“Just put your shit in your room up in boarding and meet me in the common room in 10” she said as they climbed the stone steps up to the entrance to Orchards. “Oh, and wear something you don’t mind getting dirty” she quickly added before spinning around and disappearing into her own room.

And for a moment, her face fell as Katya left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep commenting lovelies xoxo

Chapter 8

“Are we allowed to leave campus?” Trixie asked between heavy panting breaths, her body, unused to the exercise she was doing, ambling along like a baby deer in comparison to Katya, who looked like she could sprint a marathon. Trixie spluttered a little, trying to keep up beside the fellow blonde.

“Technically, we aren’t leaving campus” she said quickly, only a slight breathiness present in her voice. As they edged closer and closer to the forest at the bottom of the field opposite the sports tracks, Trixie began to slow down.

“Kat- stop- I need-“ she heaved, keeling over to gasp for air. Katya stopped running to turn around to look at the girl who had now resorted to kneeling, her shallow pants not slowing. Trixie glared at the girl who stood above her, looking slightly amused. “Surely we are far enough away now that we don’t need to run” she said, able to talk a little more calmly now.

“I guess so” Katya shrugged, offering Trixie her hand and pulling the girl up to her feet.

“Where are we going anyway?” Trixie questioned, looking around to spot anything remotely interesting that Katya would want to show her.

“Follow me Barbie” she said, reaching for Trixie’s sweaty hand and squeezing it gently, her other hand reaching out in front of her to pull away the long branches of weeping willow in front of them both.

A few steps into the forest and Trixie was met with the most spectacular sight she had ever seen.

“Oh wow” she said quietly, looking all around as Katya’s eyes were planted firmly on her, a look of softness and hope in her eyes.

“You like?” She asked

“I love” Trixie confirmed, looking around her. Katya has taken her to a secluded part of school, where nobody would be able to guess what was lurking behind the trees unless they ventured in. And Trixie was glad they had. A huge sparkling lake, with water clearer than the blue of Katya’s eyes rippling gently in the hot air. It didn’t look too deep, and Trixie was already pulling off her shoes, and climbing onto the enormous rocks that sat next to the lake, the stone burning her bare legs from where they had caught the suns rays. Katya, after pulling of her own, hopped on next to her.

“I come here when I need some alone time. Or when I need to think” Katya admitted, looking down at her hands clasped in her lap.

“Do you need to think now?” Trixie asked softly and Katya shook her head, smiling at the girl. “Why did you take me here Kat?” Trixie asked, squinting slightly at the sun peaking through the long curtains of branches.

“I dunno really” Katya said, breaking eye contact with Trixie and looking out onto the blue waters in front of them. “I guess I knew that you’d be able to appreciate the beauty in this place” she said, looking back at Trixie with a lame smile on her face.

“You are super cheesy Miss Zamolamadingdong” Trixie rolled her eyes and Katya let out a chesty laugh.

“By the end of this term, you will be able to pronounce Zamolodchikova perfectly” she vowed, as Trixie hopped off from where the rock was burning her bare legs in her shorts, and pulled Katya off with her.

”Can we go in the water?” Trixie asked, making her way down to the shallow end and tugging Katya along with her.

“Duh! What else are we gonna do!” The shorter girl exclaimed, and in one swift move, delivered a sharp push to Trixie which sent her tumbling into the icy waters.

“Ahhh! Katya you fucking bitch!” Trixie gasped, emerging her head from under the freezing temperatures to be met with a Katya who could barely stand up from laughing that hard. “I fucking hate you, you bitch” Trixie grumbled, shivering slowly as her body tried to get used to the temperates as she began to stand up straight, the waters not too deep.

“Your face, oh god!” Katya heaved, heavy breaths as she tried to regulate her laughing back to normal breathing. Trixie couldn’t help but crack a smile. As Katya looked her in the eyes as she finally calmed down, Trixie reached an ice cold hand out to grasp the other girls, whose look of terror on her face knew exactly what was coming as the girls were sent tumbling back, Trixies back hitting the waves first, with Katya’s body landing on top of hers and sending Trixie’s whole body submerging into the water.

“Shit, you okay?” Katya asked, looking concerned as she helped a spluttering Trixie sit back up, spitting out lake water that she had absolutely no idea what had been in it.

“Well that kind of backfired” she coughed, smoothing her hair from out of her eyes and sending Katya into her another one of her laughter fits.

“I’m too smart for you dear!” She smirked, as Trixie coughed out the remaining water in her lungs. “Just think of all the parasites swimming around in your body right now” Katya helpfully added as the other girl sent her a glare.

“How is it fair that this was your idea and I’m wetter than you right now” Trixie grumbled, before pausing for a few seconds, meeting Katya’s eyes as she realised what she said. “Well that sounded dirty.”

This sent Katya into her third laughter fit of the day, and this time Trixie joined her, no longer caring that that she was sitting in a cold lake in the early September heat. Instead she was happy that sitting cross legged on the rocky earth, waist down emerged in the lake opposite her was a friend that she had an overwhelming sense of love for, even if she had only known this girl for 3 days.

—————

Nearly a week later and Trixie was more or less getting into the swing of boarding school life. She’d wake up at 7, do her makeup, make a cup of coffee for herself and Katya in the small shared kitchen area, and then sit and drink it on Trixie’s bed until Adore woke up and groaned about it not being the weekend. They took that as their cue, quickly running back to their rooms to get changed and then go down to breakfast together. They were inseperable. Some people, like Katya’s roommate, Violet, gave nothing but a raised eyebrow to the pair when she saw them collapse into a giggling mess in the living room, or when she saw Katya disappear into Trixie’s room at their decided time of 7:15. Others like Kim or Sasha, shared knowing looks to one another, realising something that Trixie sure didn’t realise yet.

It was Saturday. Most of the boarders had gone out to town except Trixie, Katya, Violet, a girl called pearl in her chemistry class and a girl called Raja in the year above, who was headgirl and student head of boarding in Orchards. There were other girls still at school in other houses, but Trixie couldn’t be bothered to go over and see them. Everyone had too much work to do, Katya included, whose work consisted of catching up on some well earned sleep, meaning Trixie hadn’t seen her all morning. However, the top of Trixie’s to do list started with her phone clasped tightly in her right hand. She scrolled down through the list of contacts, mainly girls she had to share a group project with back at her old school. Some would say Trixie had no friends then. They were correct. It wasn’t that she was antisocial. She was in fact the opposite, smiling kindly at anyone who was prepared to talk to her. But she stood out too much, and with the rumours going around that she was a  _dyke_ meant that boys and girls alike would stay well clear of her. Especially when Trixies step father found out.

It called twice before she heard the familiar click and her mother’s voice rang out clearly. “Trixie? Trixie are you there?”

“I’m here mom” she muttered softly, hearing a deep exhale from her mother’s mouth.

“Why haven’t you called me? I’ve been phoning you all week but you didn’t pick up! I was becoming worried. The last time I heard from you was when you arrived. How is it? Are the girls mean? Are you behind?”

Despite the actions of the last few years, Trixie couldn’t help but laugh softly at her mothers babbling, feeling a familiar pang of when she could talk to her mother like this, soft and easy, and her mother wouldn’t have to climb in the closet just to speak to her daughter without Dom knowing.

“I love it here mom” Trixie answered simply, not knowing what else to say.

“And friends? Have you made any friends? They aren’t calling you those horrid names are they?”

At that, Trixie felt her throat tighten, not wanting to be reminded of everyone assuming she was a lesbian. She wasn’t. And she wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of her being one. Sh had no idea why everyone assumed that about her- she was just like any other person. But as the rumours grew stronger, Trixie knew she had to change her aesthetic into ultra barbie doll to stop the rumours circulating. They didn’t, but Trixie found a style she liked, and felt comfortable in. But amongst all the pink, there was a girl in there. Desperate to be loved.

“Mom I have to go. I love you” Trixie said, coming out as a hoarse whisper. Her mother was still talking as Trixie clicked End Call.

She loved her mother. She really did. But now she was here, she couldn’t help but feel like she had lost some respect for her. Her mother knew what had been going on for the past few years and never made any attempt to stop it. And when Trixie would bring it up, she was dismissed with “Oh but Trixie. You don’t help yourself sometimes. You’re asking for a smack.”

“But mom, Dom isn’t my dad. No one should hit me to the ground” Trixie would desperately plead, watching her mom turn away with cloudy eyes.

“Trixie please” her mother would say lowly. Years later and Trixie still didn’t know what she was asking for. As the girl returned to present, where she was sat on the end of her bed with hands shaking, she realised that she felt something here that she hasn’t felt ever before. Despite the texts from her mother, and despite the disatourous french lesson-

Trixie felt  _happy._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go bitches, a nice angsty yet fluffy chapter because I love and care for you.  
> Keep commenting babiessssss xoxoxo

Chapter 9

“Miss Mattel, it’s time to get your Christian girl on because mass is in 15 minutes!” A loud shrill voice awoke Trixie from her slumber. As she groggily half opened one eye, she saw Katya at the door, grinning widely at the only other girl in the the room.

Mass was every Sunday. It was the first thing Miss Visage had told Trixie as she visited her in her room on the first night. It began at 9 every Sunday morning and every girl was expected to attend. Trixie had never been religious but always been catholic, being baptised as a baby so her devout Christian mother would be happy, however, Trixie had never believed in God, even growing up.

“What time is it?” She muttered blearily, slowly dragging the covers off her body that was scrunched tightly into a ball position.

“Time you got out of bed Brenda!” She rolled her eyes, making her way over to her bed and holding her hand out for Trixie to lazily pull herself out. “We have to be in the chapel in 10 minutes and Visage will not be happy if we are late.”

“Yes yes give me a minute” Trixie mumbled dismissively, raking through her drawers and then hopping unsteadily to pull herself into some tight blue jeans. Katya threw her a lacy white blouse from her wardrobe across the room that would go nicely.

“Right we have to run Tracey” Katya rolled her eyes at Trixie’s face upon hearing there was no time for her usual makeup. A swipe of mascara and Katya beckoned for the other girl before slamming her door behind her.

The whole boarding house was empty, as well as the rest of the school who were already gathered in the chapel as the pair made their grand entrance just in time to be seated before the organ music began and every other girl stood up.

“Grab the hymn book bitch” Katya hissed as the girls around her sang half heartedly to a tune that seemed to be well known, especially to the teachers and Rupaul, who were singing obnoxiously louder than the whole population of girls.

Trixie couldn’t help but giggle at a particularly loud voice crack from the headmaster and that set Katya of as well, trying her hardest to sing through the breathy chuckles that escaped her lips. 

“Stop it Linda!” She whispered, smiling, knocking Trixie in the ribs with her elbow.

“I can’t help it” she murmured back, loud enough for Violet and a girl called Pearl in her chemistry class to turn around and smirk at the pair, their lips turning up almost in sync.

The rest of the mass was pretty boring, with Trixie dozing off during any long prayers or homilies made by the priest, and Katya guiding Trixie through when to stand up or kneel or sit. Trixie couldn’t stay focussed, letting her eyes wander past the head and deputies dressed in dark robes and seated next to the alter on highly decorated chairs and past the giant stain glass windows that adorned every window. She was unbelievably bored.

When mass finally ended, the girls had a free afternoon, with the younger ones allowed to spend the day anywhere on campus but the older ones being granted the choice to stay or catch the bus to town. Since the girls both decided to stay yesterday, Katya and Trixie were itching to escape the school grounds.

“Bitch the damn bus is gonna leave without us if you don’t get a fucking move on” Katya shouted behind her, as she was waving for the bus to wait a few metres in front of her, whilst Trixie stumbled further behind her, hopping unbalanced while trying to stay upright on the heels that she “absolutely had to wear.”

“Calm down Beyonce” Trixie huffed, finally catching up with the girl and jumping onto the vehicle just in time to trip slightly as it pulled away from the curb.

As the girls collapsed into the seats next to each other, Trixie took the opportunity to turn to Katya with a guilty smile on her face.

“This is the first time I’ve been on a bus! It’s so exciting” she confessed and Katya rolled her eyes in amusement.

“Of course little miss rich girl had daddy taking her everywhere” she laughed back. Trixie smile haltered, her body freezing quickly at Katya’s choice of words. She felt sick to her stomach. Despite it being only half a second, Katya noticed immediately.

“Trix? What did I say? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cross the line” she gushed, desperately reaching for Trixie’s hand as she turned away from the Russian and gazed out of the window, the small village disappearing behind them, and Trixie left with only Katya on the bus beside her, who was looking unbelievably ashamed for mentioning Trixie’s family life

“It’s fine.” Trixie said, giving Katya a small, dismissive smile. “I’ll tell you soon, I promise.”

————

By the end of the first half term, Trixie had completed her first 2 assessments in music, got an A in her chemistry assignment and failed her first French exam to no surprise. Katya has reassured her at the time that she shouldn’t expect to pass it straight away, it took time to learn a language, but Trixie couldn’t help but feel disheartened. By the end of her year 13, she needed at least a pass in French to get her to her dream university: Berkeley, in Californi, to study music.

It was the end of her last day of the 1st half term and it was Tatianna’s birthday- the first of the bunch to turn 17. As a celebration, she had asked for the common room in Marlow to be empty for the evening (Marlow being the West house, and Orchards being South) and invited a few of the girls before some of them went home for the week, and the others who lived further away, were staying with a school carer for the week. Trixie was lucky enough to be paired with Kim, who wasn’t going back to Korea, and was staying with one of the school nurses: Alyssa.

Trixie has met Alyssa and Willam in her second week, when Katya has excitedly dragged her along to the nurses office, shouting “nurse” in a valley girl voice before being greeted by the two young women cackling loudly. Trixie instantly loved the pair, who were busy either bullying each other or applying makeup in their small medical office in the corner of the school. Within minutes of being introduced, Willam was already showing Trixie her lime green louboutins and tracking her latest order of black studded ones. After giggling over something they had said, Willam glanced over to where Katya was laying on the nurses bed, chatting brightly to Alyssa, who was showing her a new dance she had choreographed in her adult class. Trixie followed her gaze and smiled gently at the scene of Katya with her arms behind her head, and ever so often pointing out a particular move of Alyssa’s.

“Is the bitch looking after you?” Willam said softly, and Trixie nodded fast.

“Definitely! I love her a lot” Trixie answered honestly.

“She’s a good egg. She gets so wrapped up in looking after other people that she sometimes forgets to look after herself. She’s a very delicate person really. Look out for her, will you?” Willam said quietly and slowly, as if figuring out for herself the complexity of one of her favourite kids. She looked over and met Trixie’s gaze again.

Trixie felt a lump in her throat at Willam’s words and she nodded, knowing that the girl was too special for her not to care about.

And here she was, back at Tatiannas, her head tucked tightly into the crook of Katya’s shoulder, a small, fluffy grey blanket covering the both of them in the October weather that was gradually growing colder in the passing months.

“Right hoes, what are we watching?” Tatianna’s melodic voice rang out of the quiet hatters of all of the girls scattered over the rooms. 

“Mean girls!” Violet yelled from where her and Pearl were snuggled on the sofa next to a Trixie and Katya, Violet’s hands messily playing with Pearl’s dirty blonde hair.

“Contact” Katya challenged, but the minute she opened her mouth and uttered those words, she was met with a bunch of huffs and boos from all of the girls.

“Nope we are never ever watching that shite again” Adore shook her head from her spot on the floor under Katya and Trixie and Sasha hummed in agreement.

“Wait what’s contact?” Trixie asked innocently, Katya sending her the most shit-eating grin.

“Oh just you wait” Sasha muttered, her outstretched knees on the sofa she was sharing with the pair nudging Trixies thigh.

“Did I open a can of worms?” She whispered loudly to the girl. Katya turned and nodded brightly.

“You did indeed mama.”

The girls ended up with Clueless, with Tatianna and Adore screaming along to iconic one liners and the other girls fondly laughing at them whilst sharing out the snacks they had bought from town the weekend before.

“Are you going home for the holidays?” Trixie whispered into Katya’s shoulder, her tired brain not intentionally making her lips brush against Katya’s exposed shoulder once. Trixie could have sworn that the girl shuddered just a little. Trixie convinced herself it was because it was late. 

“Yep, back to the fam” Katya sighed, turning her face so she was inches away from Trixie’s. “What about you barbie?”

“Not this time” she swallowed and Katya nodded, knowing that was the end of the conversation. Ever since the trip to town, she had never pushed Trixie to tell her any more about her family life. She knew and trusted Trixie enough to know that she would tell her when the time was right. And whether that was a million years away or tomorrow, Katya would wait.

Because Trixie meant a lot to her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> So here is another chapter for yall. Trigger warning as this includes mention of drug addiction so please don’t read if you feel like you may be affected by it. I also wanna say that my Katya has no correlation to the real one, and in fact I based my character on the loveable Russian hooker we all know. My version of substance abuse that my character faces is in no way linked to the real Katya as this fic is purely fiction. I’m so proud of Katya for seeking help to deal with her own battle and I am glad to see her on the road to recovery.
> 
> Keep commenting plz dudes xoxox

Chapter 10

“Who’s excited for school?! I know I am!” Alyssa sang off key as she made her way into her living room, carrying a bowl of popcorn and miserably failing at trying to not spill them as she pirouetted past where Kim and Trixie were lying on the sofa, watching Alyssa be Alyssa.

“Oh shit! You’ve just reminded me I have an essay in tomorrow” Kim’s face turned white, as she bolted from her spot and ran upstairs in a matter of seconds, muttering “fuck” repeatedly under her breath.

“Well I guess that leaves us” Alyssa shrugged to the silent room, plonking herself down next to Trixie and putting the giant bowl in between the pair.

“Alyssa, can I ask you something?” Trixie asked as she fumbled with her hands, Alyssa busily skipping through different channels on the TV until she found re runs of Say Yes To The Dress.

“Course babe” she said, turning her full attention to Trixie, who’s eyes hadn’t moved from her hands. “Trixie are you alright?” She asked seriously.

Trixie nodded. She was fine. More than fine. But the niggling feeling of not ever returning home for the holidays was keeping her restless. She had no idea what she was going to do for the longer holidays- like Christmas and Summer, where Alyssa or other carers couldn’t have her.

She was also tired of keeping her family life a secret from the girls. It was hard to stay out of conversations when the girls would so freely joke about their dads new girlfriend, or their irritating little sister. They would turn to include Trixie, maybe even ask her about her own life, but she disappeared before they had the chance. She needed someone to spill too. Someone who wouldn’t say anything. And she knew that the 6ft nurse (and dance teacher in the evenings) wouldn’t have the heart to judge her.

“I need to tell you- someone, something. I need to get it off my chest” Trixie began and Alyssa nodded quickly, turning the volume on the TV down to mute. Trixie appreciated her attention.

Trixie told her of her stepdad. Of his abusive nature to her and her mother, of his alcohol and drug addictions, and most importantly, of her experiences with rape. Trixie finished with a tight face. She wasn’t going to cry. He was never going to reduce her to tears.

“Oh Trix” Alyssa started, a small tear escaping the far corner of her left eye. “First of all, can I hug you?”

Trixie accepted Alyssa’s warm embrace, Alyssa’s gentle hands running up and down her back and making Trixie feel grounded, steadying the world around her for just a moment. The next thing Alyssa did was take both of Trixie’s hands and looking her dead in the eye.

“Now listen darling. Does social services know? The police?” She asked, and Trixie’s heart sank. They didn’t know. Of course they didn’t know. If they knew, she would have been taken away a long time ago and never even stepped foot in this school. She would be in some kids home somewhere back in Milwaukee. She would never have met Katya.

And now, if she told Alyssa she knew the outcome would be the same. Alyssa had to do her job. She would report Trixie’s case straight away.

Trixie lied. She nodded.

The previous tension she had felt go after telling Alyssa, had all come back again, at once. She couldn’t even look Alyssa in the eyes anymore.

“Well baby you’re safe now. You won’t ever have to go home, and I will make sure of that.” She soothed, rubbing her hand on Trixie’s knee. “Does Katya know?”

Trixie shook her head. She promised she would tell Katya, but she just wasn’t sure when. She didn’t want to burden the girl. By judging on what Willam had said, she hadn’t had the easiest life either.

Trixie returned to school the next day, with her and Kim sat in the backseats of Alyssa’s pink Mini Cooper and Willam and Alyssa sat in the front, Willam complaining about how Alyssa was _always late picking her up._

“You bitches have anything fun today?” Willam yelled over her shoulder, blonde hair flying wildly in front of her face as a result of the windows that were down on an unusually warm November day.

“I got the worst day, no frees” Trixie groaned and Kim hummed in agreement.

“Same, and I have triple advanced math as well, so me and Kat will be having a fun filled day.”

At that point, Katya came into view as they came up the driveway. She was already smoking at 8:40 on a Monday morning, thinking she was concealed in the huge bushes as gaggles of girls walked past her, however the cloud of smoke circling her head gave away her actions fairly quickly.

“No matter how many times we give her the fucking ‘Tobacco Talk’ she still won’t quit” Alyssa rolled her eyes as Willam rolled down the window and stuck her tongue out at the girl who had just spotted the bright pink vehicle, waving her over.

Katya followed the car as it pulled into an empty space in the car park. She butted the cigarette out just as Trixie and Kim climbed out. Trixie smiled widely at the girl she had missed immensely over the past week and pulled her into a huge hug, however it took the girl a few moments to reciprocate. When they pulled apart, Katya’s smile didn’t quite reach her eyes like it usually did.

“Kat?” Trixie cocked her head questioningly, as Katya shook her head and painted an even brighter smile on her face.

“Katya” Willam said, all ounce of humour in her voice gone as she flicked her head and walked ahead of Alyssa Kim and Trixie, commanding Katya to join her. Katya swallowed thickly before jogging ahead to catch up with Willam. It was too far to properly work out what was said, but Trixie could vaguely see Willam long arm wrap around Katya’s shoulders, and the girl leaned into the woman.

“Shit” Alyssa said under her breath and as if in sync, Kim and Trixie snapped their heads round to the tall woman.

“What’s wrong with Katya? Is it something I said?” Trixie asked worriedly, biting at her nails subconsciously.

“No not at all. She sometimes gets like this. Don’t worry, we will sort her out” Alyssa promised, before handing both her and Kim their suitcases. “Now go and sign in before Miss Visage chases after me” she laughed lightly, pushing the girls away as she fished her own belongings out of her car.

“Kim?” Trixie started as the pair walked towards the school entrance. Kim looked expectantly at Trixie, as if she knew what was coming.

“It’s true what’s Alyssa said. She gets like this from time to time. But she will be okay. She always is” Kim smiled reassuringly and that was all Trixie needed to get on with the rest of her day, even if she didn’t see Katya at all, not even at dinner.

————

Trixie knocked once, twice, on Katya’s bedroom door. It was 8PM and since finishing school, Katya couldn’t be found anywhere. Trixie tried the study room, common room and living room before heading off the dinner, where neither her nor Violet where found. She asked Sasha, Adore, Pearl, but nobody had seen her since her first advanced maths at 9AM.

Trixie’s last resort was trying her room, and she knew she had to be here. 

Suddenly, the door was opened a crack and Violet stood in between her and her room, her beady eyes looking Trixie up and down. Trixie tried to edge her way so she could see Katya, but Violet was taller than her.

“Vi, is Kat in here?” Trixie said, her voice coming off a little uncertain.

Violet looked back just for a millisecond, her face breaking from its usual hard stare, however she maintained it quickly when she looked back at the girl in her pink pyjamas in front of her, looking extremely anxious.

“Now’s not a good time Trix” Violet said quietly and Trixie felt her heart beat a little faster than normal.

“What do you mean? Where’s Katya? Why won’t you let me see her?” She said, her voice rising in anger a little bit. Just as Violet opened her mouth to bite back, a small voice silenced them from deep in the room.

“Just let her in Vi” Katya said tiredly.

Trixie lunged into the room, hearing Katya’s voice breaking her inside. As she slipped past Violet, she eventually drew her eyes on the girl and all ounce of strength was gone.

Katya was buried in a mountain of covers in her bed, just her face poking out of the top, looking deathly pale and dark circles gathering under her eyes. The most heart breaking thing was her eyes. There was no life in them, no expression. No Katyaness.

“Kat?” Trixie began, tentatively making her way over to the bed and Katya inched over so there was enough room for the pair of them.

“I’m gonna go see Pearl. I’ll be back soon Kat” Violet said, before giving an expression to Trixie that read ‘keep an eye on her.’

Trixie suddenly felt nervous as she slipped under the covers next to Katya, who was similarly dressed in a long black shirt and cotton shorts. The minute her skin made contact with Katya’s, the smaller girl wrapped her arms around Trixie’s waist and leant her head against her chest, easing Trixie into her touch.

“What’s wrong baby?” Trixie said softly, stroking strands of Katya’s blonde hair, as the other girl’s eyes ran wildly around the room, not settling for a second. Trixie didn’t expect Katya to reply, but when she opened her mouth, Trixie held her baited breath.

“Do you remember on the bus when you said you would tell me about your family?” She started, and Trixie swallowed down a lump in her throat. Katya felt her nod. “Well turns out I have some family shit of my own” she laughed humourlessly.

“Anything you want to tell me about?” Trixie asked, her hand leaving Katya’s hair and reaching for her cold hands, rubbing small circles with her thumb.

Katya took a deep breath. “I always go home for holidays, butt every time I come back to school it’s always the same. I always go back in a bad frame of mind, however, recently it’s become more noticeable. Like, Willam has even noticed and I’m sure Alyssa has. Whenever I go home, I....” she trailed off, her voice losing steadiness. Trixie gripped her hand harder. “I struggle with my addiction. My older sisters boyfriend is a drug dealer, and as she always comes home for the holiday, she brings him with her. And he gives me stuff. I started off refusing the pills and weed and shit, but I lost self control Trixie.” She broke off, and Trixie’s shirt was beginning to feel damp. “I can’t say no to this stuff when I’m alone. My mum or older sister don’t know about my addiction, so I can’t tell them. I have no one there to ground me. To tell me that it’s okay. Every holiday, I have to go through the same shit alone and then return to school feeling like an absolute failure because A: I had been taking drugs, and B: I don’t have them with me” she finished, crying freely now. Her happy and soft exterior had broken down to reveal a damaged girl, who was carrying more baggage than a girl of 16 years should. Her barriers were so low that Trixie could charge right through them if she wished. But as Trixie looked down at the broken girl sobbing in front of her, she wanted nothing more than to make all of the bad stuff go away and make sure the girl was happy for evermore.

Trixie’s heart broke at the fact that Katya had a drug addiction. She broke at knowing that she couldn’t always help Katya. She wanted to take Katya far far away and live a life pain free with just her by her side. She wanted to make Katya laugh and smile like she usually does. She wanted to take her in her arms and kiss her-

No.

No.

She didn’t mean that she just got over excited. She was just in the moment, not thinking straight. Trixie turned red, and felt a little sweaty but thankfully the girl in her arms couldn’t see. She had just calmed down now, staring out at the walls in front of her.

“Do you hate me?” Her small voice said.

All the shattered pieces of Trixies heart at that point disappeared into nothing. She felt empty. She had been so wrapped up in her own mind that she hasn’t replied to Katya’s confession and it was safe to say she felt like utter shit.

“Of course not sweetheart, how could I hate you?!” She mumbled into Katya’s hair, cradling the girl gently. “If anything, I think you’re stronger now than ever before” she mumbled, and the corners of Katya’s mouth turned up ever so slightly. “Does anyone else know?”

“I told Violet when she noticed after Christmas of year 11. Willam figured it out after battling with addiction herself” she said, reaching for Trixie’s hands and entwining their fingers. “It just completely sucks when you’re flying high as a kite and you’re keeping it from the people you love the most during the only time you get to spend with them, you know?” She said and Trixie nodded.

“Hold on tight baby, my confessions coming soon” she laughed humourlessly, as she snuggled down so she was opposite Katya, looking directly into her eyes.

She kissed the girls forehead as they resumed their tight position and as Katya’s eyes dropped with sleep before Violet came into the room to find the pair fast asleep, Trixie mumbled one last time.

“Hold on tight baby.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyy,  
> Keep commenting guys! I love reading your feedback xoxoxo

Chapter 11

Trixie awoke the next morning with her arms around the other girl, tightly enclosing her to Trixie’s chest. She would have been asleep for longer if Katya hadn’t not so subtly tried to escape her grasp. It was her fidgeting that eventually cause Trixie to open one eye.

“Okay, I’ll let you escape now” she hummed, pulling her dead arm out from under Katya. At the sound of Trixie’s voice, Katya snapped her head around to grin guiltily at the other girl.

“I really need a wee” she explained, before jumping up and running out of the room.

As Trixie closed her eyes, relaxing back into Katya’s bed, it was Violet’s voice that caused her to jump up in shock, cursing quietly.

“It’s half seven” she said matter-of-factly and Trixie shrugged.

“So?”

“You stayed here all night” she stated, changing the subject.

“So?” Trixie repeated.

“Nothing” Violet said smirking a little, before resuming to her normal Violet face. “How was she last night?”

“Um she told me everything. She cried a little. Then I hugged her.” Trixie said slowly. She didn’t know Violet extremely well but Katya seemed to trust her, and Trixie was prepared to as well.

At that, Katya strode back into the room. In the early morning light Trixie noticed that she looked a lot better than yesterday. She could tell last night really helped her. A little life had returned to her eyes, but not all of it.

“Oh hey Vi” she said as she passed her, fishing out her uniform from her set of drawers by the window.

“You alright babe?” She said, in a tone that Trixie hadn’t heard her use for anyone but Katya and Pearl. Katya turns around to fully face Violet, and nodded genuinely.

“I am”

Trixie got up from the bed and walked over to the window before pulling Katya into a full hug.

“I’m gonna go get dressed. I’ll meet you down in breakfast” she said, pressing a chaste kiss to Katya’s sunken cheek. Just as Trixie turned to leave, Katya reached for her hand.

“Thank you. For last night”

————

Right after yet another disatourous French lesson, with Trixie only just learning the être verb, Trixie took her free as an opportunity to not do her assignment, but catch up with Willam and Alyssa in the nurses office. She had a lot to catch them up on, even in the space of 2 days.

As she knocked the open door, she heard noises from inside the office, and it was only when she ventured in did she spot Sasha sitting at the end of the medical bed, a bloody cloth wrapped around her thumb.

"What happened?" Trixie asked, confused. Both nurses and Sasha snapped their heads over quickly.

"I cut my finger in art," Sasha shrugged. "Hey where were you last night?" She questioned and Trixie haltered, as Willam and Alyssa frowned at each other, wanting to know the reason as well.

'I was with Katya." She said simply, and she watched as Willam's eye level dropped to her hands.

"All night?" Sasha raised her eyebrows and Trixie nodded slowly, avoiding the stares she was getting from Alyssa and Sasha.

“All right...” Sasha hummed, before hopping off the bed and looking back at the pair of nurses sitting on the wheelie chairs behind the desk. “Thanks guys, I best be off to art now”

“Anytime darling” Alyssa smiled, before handing Sasha a medical note and watched her leave the office. Both eyes turned back to Trixie the moment the door was shut.

“You stayed with Katya all night?!” Alyssa enquired.

Trixie nodded.

“You know that’s not allowed right?” She added.

Trixie shrugged. Alyssa smirked.

“Liss, cut them some slack” Willam said quietly. It was the first thing she had said this whole time and it made both Alyssa and Trixie look over.

“Just be careful right” Alyssa warned before picking up her phone on the side. “I’m just heading to the staff room, I’ll be back in a sec” Alyssa said before leaving the room and leaving both Willam and Trixie alone.

“So what did you really come here for” Willam sighed, turning around on her chair to face Trixie.

“What do you mean?” Trixie tried but Willam just shook her head.

“I’m not stupid Trix. I know something’s up with you.”

Trixie sighed. She was here because she wanted to tell someone of the strange urge to kiss her friend last night. Here because of the constant fluttering inside of her when someone merely mentioned Katya’s name. Here because she wanted to know....

Did she fancy her best friend?

“Katya told me everything about the drugs last night” Trixie said, jumping up onto the bed that Sasha had just left moments ago.

“Good” Willam nodded, leaning her head against her hand and eyes not leaving Trixie’s.

“And...” Trixie started slowly, taking a deep breath and clutching her hands together. “I think I like her.” She said, her eyes not leaving her hands. She felt as if her chest was beating at 100 miles an hour. It wasn’t as if she had a problem with being gay, or even bisexual, but there were reasons why she had never expressed this before. For starters, she was at a catholic school. She wasn’t stupid. She knew about how being gay was supposedly a sin, and she couldn’t believe that people were going to be very accepting of her crush. Her mother was also a devout Christian, always banging on about how Trixie was going to stay in Wisconsin and marry a nice boy and have dozens of kids. And though Trixie always knew that wasn’t the life for her, she hadn’t realised why until now. Finally, she had always been called a dyke, whether that be from her step-father or the kids at school, and more than anything, she didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of being correct.

Finally, she lifted her gaze to Willam’s

She didn’t know what to expect, but she didn’t expect to see Alyssa standing at the door, her mouth gaped open behind a rather cool and collected Willam. “If you’re gonna expel me for being gay go ahead” she laughed bitterly, swallowing down the bile in her throat after actually vocalising her feelings. She liked Katya. A lot. At first, she thought it was just because of how good friends they were. But not even Trixie could ignore the instant connection she felt towards the girl. The _beautiful_ girl. The girl she had only known for a few months, but whose life had been turned upside down because of her.

“I’m not gonna expel you” Willam shrugged, as Alyssa, as dramatic as ever, staggered her way over to her chair, mouth still open, and collapsing into it. “I’m actually really proud of you Trix”

Trixie frowned. Willam was rarely serious and when she was, she kind of scared Trixie, but Willam was sat down looking genuinely proud of the girl sitting in front of her. She scooted forward on her chair and took Trixie’s hand.

“I knew it baby. I knew it from the moment I saw the two of you together. But I don’t care if this is a catholic school or not, if anyone and I mean anyone gives you any grief for liking who you like, you send them to me and I will sort them out. I won’t tolerate any homophobia. At all. And neither with Alyssa”

At that point, Alyssa had gotten over the intial shock and gone over to sit next to Trixie on the medical bed. She pressed a kiss to Trixie’s forehead, whispering “good on you kiddo.” Trixie felt overwhelmed with gratitude.

“So you’re not mad that I have a crush on my best friend” Trixie bit her lip and both of the women shook their heads.

“I mean, I suggest you talk it out with Kat, but of course we are not mad. And I don’t think Kat will be, despite what you think” Alyssa smiled knowingly.

It was true. Inwardly, Trixie was shitting herself at the thought of Katya knowing. She had built such a close relationship with the girl, and even if it progressed to nothing more, Trixie would do anything if it meant she wouldn’t lose the girl as her best friend. She didn’t want anything to be different between the pair. She still wanted them to sit and make fun of each other, but just wanted some hand holding and kissing thrown into the mix.

As Trixie swept back into her room later, a hot chocolate nestled between her hands, Adore was waiting at the end of Trixie’s bed, perched as if waiting for her. Trixie’s entrance caused her to quickly look up from her phone.

“There you are! Raja’s been looking for you”

Trixie swallowed. She had seen the head girl around school a few times and she was nearly always in the living room in the evenings with Manilla and Carmen, two other girls in her year, but the tall girl had never bothered to speak to her, and in all honesty, Trixie was rather glad. The girl kind of intimidated her.

“Why?” She asked and Adore shrugged.

“Dunno, but she told me to ask you to go to her room, 14, she’s waiting for you there.” And with that she whipped out her phone again and blanked Trixie.

As Trixie made her way down the corridor, counting down the room numbers, she felt a familiar tightness due to nerves. She hadn’t done anything bad as far as she knew. Except maybe sleep with Katya last night. But that was understandable. Right?

Trixie knocked on the door and within a few seconds, Raja pulled the door open, a flood of silver hair and a toothy smile.

“Hey, Trixie right? Come in!”

As Trixie entered, she couldn’t help but marvel at how much nicer Raja’s room was from everyone else’s. She had no roommate, it was slightly bigger, and her room lay right underneath one of the turrets of the school, with a huge window looking out onto the south woods.

“Sit anywhere babe, I’m not gonna keep you for long” she laughed and Trixie cracked a smile, pulling out the chair from behind Raja’s white desk. “I wanted to talk to you about something”

Trixie nodded, her legs bouncing up and down anxiously. “Yeah? What’s up?” She stuttered.

Raja inhaled slowly. “I was wondering what was up with you and Katya. I saw you go into her room last night and you didn’t come out. Are both of you okay?” Raja asked, not a hint of accusation or disgust in her voice, just pure concern. Trixie exhaled with relief.

“We are okay” she reassured. “I’m figuring some stuff out at the moment but we are going to be okay” Trixie said as honestly as she could and it seemed sufficient enough for Raja.

“I’m glad chick. And if I can help you both out in anyway just let me know yeah?” She said and Trixie nodded.

She sort of knew that Raja had made correct assumptions. And she knew that Raja knew exactly what Trixie was ‘figuring out’. But she was glad that despite the mess, she had the head girl on her side.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY
> 
> xoxo

Chapter 12

“”Miss Zamolodchikova. You’re late. Apparently you were late for Art as well earlier this week” Miss Monsoon tutted as Katya strolled into the room 15 minutes late to French. Trixie was unbelievably glad for the distraction, as Miss Monsoon had just turned to Trixie to ask her to recite the pouvoir and devoir verbs.

“Sorry miss, I-“ she began before breaking off suddenly, looking puzzled. “Actually I don’t have an excuse” she shrugged as the rest of the class erupted into laughter. Trixie herself couldn’t help a few giggles that escaped her lips as Katya slid into the seat next to her.

“Don’t make it a third time this week Katya” the French teacher warned under her breath before turning back to the bored, annoyed expression on her face.

“I was looking for you mama, where were ya?” Katya whispered, her blonde hair falling in front of her eyes as Trixie played with fingers under the table.

“I wasn’t in my room, sorry. I got a call from my brother.” Trixie said slowly. Katya sensed this was a rough spot for Trixie and simply patted Trixie’s knee. The sudden touch made Trixie clap her legs together, the contact making her shiver after her phone conversation she had earlier. Katya quickly withdrew her hand, looking sheepish.

“If you need to talk you know where I am” she muttered, before pulling out her green French book and getting on with the exercise on the board. That was the last they had spoken that lesson.

In all fairness, Trixie couldn’t focus on anything, let alone try to make conversation. The words her brother had spoken were dancing around in her head, everywhere at once and the girl couldn’t even think straight. She was shocked enough to see her phone buzz and light up with a picture of her brother that she had taken last Christmas as she gave him a gift card for the gym store down the street.

“Kam?” She had whispered, not quite beliving if it was true yet.

“Hey sis” she heard a quiet voice down the line. “How you holding up?”

“Mom told you?” She asked and he made a non commital noise that sounded like a yes.

“Right after I called up for Dom’s birthday. You know it’s today right?” 

“Right” she sighed. How could she forget.

The thought had hung over Trixie’s head all day, from the moment she woke up to go grab her and Katya their coffees, to the moment she was sat in the toilets for some privacy, whispering to kameron down the line before her French lesson began. She washed her hands twice before leaving the bathroom.

Kameron has offered her a solution to her holiday problem, with the promise of her staying with him in any holiday she needed to, at his flat down in Connecticut. She gladly took him up on the offer, with the promise he would get a huge Christmas present to say thanks. She couldn’t wait to see her brother again, after so long of him never coming home except for Christmas, and even then it was a rushed stop on Christmas Day, leaving before sunset, as ‘the traffic would be heavy coming back’. Trixie really knew it was because he didn’t want to be anywhere near Dom.

And now the French lesson was over and the school day had ended to Trixie’s relief. She was sat in her room, completely alone and wanted nothing more than to storm in to Katya’s room and talk to her.

Or kiss her maybe.

But talk first. Talk about why she hadn’t really spoken in the lesson, talk about where she was before the lesson. And tell her the story she had promised she would tell Katya soon.

“Yo baby what’s up?” Adore sang as she swung open the closed door, Sasha strolling behind her with her arms piled high with books.

“Nothing” she shrugged, and smiled in a way that she hoped look somehow convincing. She looked back down at her hands and felt the bed sink next to her. She felt Sasha’s hand ghost comfortingly over her thigh and that was when she lost it.

Trixie jumped up suddenly, afraid of the contact. She was feeling on edge, with Dom’s big and heavy appearance looming like a cloud of grey in her brain. Sasha’s touch made her feel out of control again. Made her feel dirty. And yet, deep down, she knew the girl was only trying to make her feel better.

“Trix” Sasha said cautiously, her eyes swiping to Adore’s for help. Trixie turned away quickly. “I didn’t mean to-“

“I’m gonna go” she said hurriedly, before running out of the room and down the boarding steps.

As she wandered the corridor, she felt her loudest thoughts bouncing off the walls in the empty space, reverberating louder and louder until they were almost uncontrollable. Pictures of Dom were imprinted in her mind everytime she closed her eyes to blink.

She found herself walking to the church.

The church was unsurprisingly empty, with the girls only using it when made to come to mass. Now, the distant smell of incense was overpowering her nostrils, but making Trixie feel grounded in a way that she really needed right now.

Every footstep she made closer into the church, a heavy echo sounded out, making Trixie feel like a trespasser. She did in a way, making her way over to the glass bowl of holy water like she was out of place. She didn’t deserve it. She was dirty.

As she dipped in her first hand, she exhaled deeply as the water surrounded her hands. She dipped in her second hand, fully submerging herself in the supposed healing powers of the water.

“Trixie?” She heard a voice, that was closer than expected.

A small yelp came from Trixie’s mouth as she fished her hands out of the bowl and putting them behind her back, like a sinner just been caught. Katya’s blue eyes stared right back at her, not judging her, just figuring out the best way to help her.

“How did you-“ Trixie stuttered but Katya cut her off.

“Sasha came to me and told me that you freaked out. She thought you needed a friend right now” Katya said softly, looking down at Trixie’s damp hands, that were slightly white with the coldness of the water in which she put them in.

“I need to feel clean” she said helplessly. Katya nodded like she understood. But Trixie knew different.

“No Katya you don’t understand” she uttered firmly, walking deeper into the church and leaving Katya standing a good distance behind her. The space between them felt bigger, and not just in a physical way. “Every day I wake up and feel disgusting. I feel gross. I feel dirty and it’s all Dom’s fault!” She said, growing louder witch very syllable that left her mouth. “He raped me regularly and still, it was my fault for ‘asking for it’. It was my fault because me and my mother were ‘out of control’. It was my fault because I was a fucking dyke and needed to be punished for it!” She yelled, tears freely escaping her eyes and running down her cheeks, cutting lines into the thick contour. “And now I’ve got a big, lesbian crush on you and I am dirty because all I think about when I sit next to my best friend is how much I want to fucking kiss her!” She shouted, her volume reaching its maximum until she stopped- not a single sound heard in the silent room, except the steady breaths of both Katya and Trixie alike. A few seconds passed.

“Can I come any closer?” Katya whispered, causing Trixie to look up at the girl whose eyes were red rimmed and held a genuineness that Trixie couldn’t resist. She nodded.

Every step she took felt like an hour, with Trixie’s breath growing shallower until she stood right before her, in all her glory. Now, in the early setting sun illuminating her from behind, Katya looked like an angel sent from heaven. Her lips turned up in a shy smile.

“I want to kiss you too Trixie Mattel”

And before Trixie could open her mouth to respond, Katya had closed the space between the pair and took Trixie’s cheeks into her hands, bringing her face closer and closer until her lips glided over the other girl’s, Katya’s breath hot against Trixie’s strangled gasps. Trixie leant in for more. She was hungry, and Katya was her last meal on death row.

“No Trix..” Katya started, pulling away from the other girl quickly, causing a flash of hurt to cover the other girl’s face. She shook her head. “I want you to tell me what you have been holding in first. And then we will talk about me and you. I promise.” She said, taking Trixie’s manicured hand and pressing a peck to it, causing a pale red smudge to imprint on Trixie. She never wanted it to fade.

Katya didn’t attempt to touch Trixie at all as they sat on a stranded pew, Trixie letting all her deepest darkest secrets out to Katya, and whatever God was listening to her in the church. Katya didn’t interrupt her. Didn’t attempt to make any remarks. Just sat and listened, which was exactly what Trixie wanted.

“So, does Dom know where you are now?” Katya asked, after 10 seconds of pure silence let her know Trixie was done explaining. Trixie shrugged tiredly.

“Probably, I don’t know. Mom was always shit at keeping things from him.”

“And you aren’t going home for the holidays are you?” Katya said and Trixie shook her head.

“Nope. I’ll most likely be spending it with my brother.”

“Good. Thank you for telling me. I know it must be hard.” Katya said, without an inch of patronisation. She reached for Trixie’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “I can’t imagine the horrors you have been through, and I’m not going to pretend I can. But when you feel like you did today, please I need you to tell me. I need to know so I and anyone else doesn’t say anything that causes you to spiral” she explained and Trixie nodded along, attempting to understand. “And I promise you with my life, that man will never lay hands on you again” she swore, and a wave of tears plucked at Trixie’s eyes yet again. She bit her lip, letting them spill over freely.

“It’s Dom’s birthday today” Trixie said and Katya’s face hardened.

“Is that what made you feel like this?” Katya asked and Trixie nodded. Katya reached for her hand.

“Trixie, about you being gay, you know, was that one of the reasons he was abusive?” Katya asked and Trixie paused for a few moments, looking down at Katya’s hands.

“I think it was an excuse for him to do it. You know, fuck the gay right out of me. But my mum would kill me if she found out. She’s super Catholic.” Trixie swallowed and Katya exhaled.

“But the police know right?”

Trixie stopped. She had told Alyssa they knew, so Alyssa wouldn’t report it herself, but as she looked across to Katya’s worried eyes, she felt unable to lie any longer.

“No.” She said in a small voice. “I never reported them because he said he would hurt my mother I did” Trixie gabbled, clenching Katya’s hand tightly in hers.

“You’re safe now though. Can you report him now? That bastard deserves to die” Katya urged but Trixie shook her head firmly.

“Not yet. Not until I’ve finished here and I can take my mom away from him. It’s too dangerous at the moment Kat. But I promise I will” she said and Katya sighed slowly, nodding along.

“Okay. If that’s what you want. But promise me something...” she began and Trixie leaned forward. “Promise me you’ll tell me everything that happens. I don’t want to ever see you like this again baby...” she trailed off, her pale hand reaching up to one of Trixie’s looked blonde waves and tucking it behind her ear. She kept her gaze on Trixie’s hair.

“Kiss me again” Trixie breathed, and Katya captured her lips in one swift move. This kiss wasn’t the carefully placed peck like before, but more rushed, like it was the last thing Trixie would be able to experience. Trixie gasped in surprise as Katya wound her hand around the back of Trixie’s head, pulling them closer, and Katya took the opportunity to swipe her tongue across the girls bottom lip, teasingly yet reassuring. A low moan erupted from the back of Trixies throat and she felt Katya smirk against her mouth, Trixie feeling every curve and swell of her lip. As she traced her hands up Katya’s chest, she pulled away for breath.

“I think we should talk” Katya breathed heavily and Trixie gulped for air.

“Yes talking is good, yep” Trixie murmured in agreement, her hands busily moving up and down Katya’s torso and not paying any attention to what the girl was saying.

“About us” Katya continued, her chest rising and falling with every drag upwards Trixies hands took. “Because I have a big fat lesbian crush on you too” she grinned and Trixie’s ears perked up and matched Katya’s smile.

“For how long?” She asked in surprise.

“Is it bad if I say I thought you looked fucking gorgeous from the minute I saw you as I was talking to Visage. But I got a real crush during 2nd week I think,” Katya nodded, like she was working it out in her head.

“So...?” Trixie bit her lip.

“So...” Katya repeated.

“Kiss me again” Trixie muttered, before crushing her lips back to Katya’s, getting closer and closer until she was sat straddling her in the middle of the empty church, the sounds of filthy moans bouncing off the chapel walls.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait lads, have been super busy atm  
> Xoxox

Chapter 13

“I can do it!” Trixie whined, her voice muffled as she buried her face in Katya’s exposed neck. The other girl cackled at the ticklish feeling Trixie’s face made. It was a Friday night and Trixie was holed up in Katya’s room after Violet and Pearl had both snuck out of campus to go to a house party. Trixie suspiciously noticed their clasped hands as they gathered their clutches before sneaking out of the room. That left Trixie and Katya alone.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Trixie jumped onto Katya who was lounging on the bed on her phone and caused her to get winded slightly with the sudden shock of all of Trixie’s weight as she dropped her phone to her face. Katya smiled dopily at the girl who was grinning down at her.

“Hey” Katya whispered.

“Yo” Trixie murmured back, before brushing Katya’s wavy hair from her face and leaning down to peck her gently on the lips. “I can’t be bothered to do my French” she breathed against her lips making Katya tingle.

“You’ll never pass if you don’t do your homework bitch” Katya cackled, pushing Trixie off her gently and reaching for the dreaded green book and the textbook that lay discarded on the floor. “Ugh why?!” Trixie whined and Katya rolled her eyes at the pouting girl. “Hey, I tell you what” Katya suddenly gushed, leaning forward towards Trixie. “I’ll take you on a date afterwards” she grinned and Trixie felt all the heat rush to her cheeks. “Our first date” she giggled, tracing her fingers on Katya’s hand and she bit her lip. Looking at Katya, Trixie didn’t just see the girl she fancied. She saw a girl who was her best friend. Even amongst all the running around in secret from the past two weeks, stealing secret kisses when people weren’t looking was giving Trixie enough butterflies that she could barely stand up straight. Looking at Katya’s striking eyes now, she felt a giddy mess.

“Is that a yes to our first date then?” Katya asked hopefully, and Trixie abandoned all attempts to stay cool and collected and nodded wildly.

“Yep”.

————

“Katya we have been walking forever” Trixie moaned, hopping on one leg to rub her aching feet embedded in 6 inches of high heels. It gave her the slight win in size difference, after being so used to them standing at the same height.

“Shut up moaning, you’re doing my head in” Katya laughed, squeezing Trixie’s hand tight in hers and making her smirk slightly. They had only been walking for about 10 minutes, after securing a bus into town which got them there for around 5pm. They still had a couple of hours before the shops began to close and yet Katya seemed to be dragging them past any open store.

“Where are we going Kat?” Trixie asked for about the 100th time and this time, Katya just blanked her. Trixie sighed loudly.

It wasn’t until they had walked through the fairly small town and began leaving all signs of normal civilisation that it began fairly obvious to Trixie where they were going, and she couldn’t keep the smile of awe off her face. The loud, tinny music she had heard from countless movies and the sickly sweet smell of sugary shit invaded her nostrils and made her clasp Katya’s hand even tighter than before. As they approached the vast field in front of them, the colours bouncing off each tent wall, Trixie turned to Katya.

“You took me to a fairground for our first date?” She said gently, moving her hand up to cup Katya’s cheek.

“Yeah. I heard it was coming to town” Katya grinned and Trixie was sure her heart had expanded twice the size as it was before. The spinning golds and reds swirled around them, leaving both Katya and Trixie in a world of their own.

“This is the best date ever” Trixie poked her tongue out at the crazy blonde before her who grasped her arm tightly before shouting:

“Come on bitch let’s go!”

The girls raced their way through the crowds, with Trixie forgetting about her previous pains with walking in her heels, Katya’s hand on her arm providing her with the determination to run as fast as she could to the fair that was edging closer and closer. As Trixie got closer, she could begin to smell typical tacky food like candyfloss and corn dogs that she could devour in a heartbeat. Her senses were overpowered and her stomach began grumbling deeply. Katya noticed, and grinned cheekily at her.

“Food or rides first?” 

“Food!” Trixie shouted, making Katya laugh at the girl who had only eaten a few hours ago. Trixie snapped her head round, surveying the large field that included every food stall you could possible imagine. The chilli dogs however caught her eye, the bright red neon signs practically forcing Trixie to grab Katya’s arm and drag her along.

A short two minutes of the girls taking bites of each other’s chilli dogs, and already the smell of fried onions and the greasy kitchens was present in both Trixie and Katya’s locks. For a brief moment, Trixie sighed at the thought of having to wash her hair, after only washing it last night, but when she caught sight of Katya, whose cheeks and nose were flushed red and her gloved hands pointed up ecstatically at the Ferris wheel, all of Trixie’s worries flushed away. She was back to the present, standing next to the most beautiful girl she had ever set her eyes on and was falling deeper and deeper for her.

“Let’s go on!” Katya yelled over the blaring music, her blonde hair whipping Trixie in the face slightly with the smell of oil making Trixie smile widely. 

“Wait a minute” Trixie said, just loud enough for Katya to hear over the music. Katya cocked her head to one side in a questioning manner and Trixie took it as an opportunity to lean forward and glide her lips across Katya’s soft ones, just quick enough to leave Katya wanting more.

“Trix-“ Katya began, but Trixie put her cold, exposed fingers to her lips quickly, yelling a ‘shhh!’ before pulling her along to join the back of the queue for the Ferris wheel.

If the November nights weren’t already growing cold, Trixie could feel it heightened when her chair reached the climax of the ride. The bitter yet gentle wind blew across both of the girls faces and Trixie leant closer to Katya, tucking her head into her shoulder, leaving both of them gazing up at the stars, hands clasped tightly with only the sounds of their heavy breaths and the distant music to keep them from floating away to their dreamlands.

“It’s so beautiful!” Katya sighed, squinting to look at the various constellations hovering in the sky. Trixie bit her lip and she stole a look at the girl and hummed in agreement.

“Yeah” she swallowed thickly, Katya turning around to lock eyes with Trixie. Katya opened her mouth, pausing for a few moments before eventually speaking.

“Is it bad if I say this on the first date..?” Katya inhaled the crisp air, Trixie’s heart thundering at the words that she knew were tingling away on Katya’s lips, getting ready to be spoken.

Trixie swallowed again.

“I’m in love with you Trixie Mattel” Katya whispered, if only just tasting the words herself. Trixie’s heart jumped, ignoring the bit of moisture gathering at the corner of her eye as Katya laughed- laughed at nothing in particular. “Holy shit am I in love with you Trixie. I’m in love with the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. I’m in love with the most talented girl I’ve ever seen. I’m in love with the only girl who can’t say hello in French” Katya continued, making Trixie scream in laughter, letting her tears drip down her face, but not faltering the huge smile she adorned.

“I’m in love with you too Kat. I am so unbelievably, overwhelmingly, incredibly in love with you” Trixie murmured, her face millimetres from Katya’s, her chest pressed so tightly to hers that she could practically feel Katya’s pulse thudding against her chest.

Just before Katya leaned forward, Trixie turned at the city below her, ignoring the most beautiful love story that was happening right above them. As Trixie gazed at the flashing lights, and moving people, she opened her mouth and screamed:

“I am in love with Katya Zamolodchikova!”

Katya erupted into a fountain of giggles, pulling at Trixie’s arm.

“I told you that you’d be able to pronounce it sooner or later” she gleefully yelled, as Trixie smiled smugly before placing both cold hands on either side of Katya’s face, pulling the pale girl closer to her.

“I love you” she murmured yet again, as she closed the gap between them, the ride descending slowly and the wind growing stronger, as the pair were slowly brought back to reality.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep commenting xo

Chapter 14

“да, да, мама, я скажу ей. Хорошо. ладно, поговори с тобой позже, я тебя люблю.”

Trixie was lounging on her bed as Katya gabbled frenzied Russian, grinning into her phone, and Trixie watched intently- her eyes darting across the room as Katya paced. As she clicked off the phone, Katya threw it onto the bed and jumped on top of Trixie.

“Do you wanna hear some pretty cool news?” Katya asked, the corners of her mouth staying upturned as Trixie nodded eagerly. Katya had only gotten the call about 5 minutes ago, and the whole time she seemed overjoyed at what her mother was saying. Deep deep down, Trixie’s heart lurched at the thought of having a relationship like that with her mother. Trixie knew they were close, from the way that Katya texted her mom after their first date to tell her all about the wonderful girl she was with, to the times where Trixie knew she was feeling a little blue, and would toss Katya her phone, knowing that a call with her mom would cheer her up no end.

“So you know it’s like 2 weeks until Christmas...?” Katya began, moving to a sitting position and taking the hands of the still lying Trixie.

“Yes...” Trixie leaned forward.

“Well my mom asked if you wanted to stay with us for the holidays. She really wants to meet you” Katya trailed off, her face flushing at Trixie’s face dropping. “What’s wrong? Do you not want to meet my family?” Katya gulped, suddenly feeling self conscious of asking Trixie to go home with her after only a couple of months together. Trixie shook her head firmly.

“It’s not that babe, I promise.” Trixie said honestly, pressing a lingering kiss to Katya’s unmoving and parted lips. “It’s just... I’m a mess. I’m not the type of girl parents love” she laughed bitterly, and a look of relief washed over Katya’s face.

“Oh you silly bitch” Katya laughed loudly, rolling her eyes at Trixie. “Of course she will love you. What’s not to love? You’re gorgeous, you’re smart, you’re funny. And you’re my girlfriend” Katya grinned. She suddenly looked down to Trixies chest, whose cleavage was popping out of her lounge shirt. “Plus it will give us a little... alone time” Katya winked, making Trixie scream with laughter.

Trixie reached to cover her chest in mock horror. “You won’t be getting all of this jush until marriage baby” 

“You can’t deny me bitch. It’s bad enough feeling so horny in a fucking catholic school. The closest we have got, was our make out sesh in the church... how romantic” Katya groaned, looking at Trixie’s lips hungrily.

“You aren’t the only horny one honey” Trixie mused, reaching her pointer finger to Katya’s slightly uneven lips, poking it slowly through the gap and trailing it back down her neck. Katya was silent, in pure shock.

“Don’t do this to me” Katya whispered, watching Trixie’s trail of dampness start to dry once it reached the top of Katya’s grey sports bra, right before her small cleavage began. Trixie, however, let her finger keep trailing.

“Do what?” She asked innocently, using a few more fingers to drag down her defined abs and to her abdomen, where a thin layer of leggings kept Trixie from her desired destination.

“You know what, Trixie.” Katya murmured, the use of her name making something twitch inside her. “If you keep doing this, I promise you, I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk tomorrow” she threatened darkly, pulling Trixie’s head up to face hers with a slight tug on her hair, making Trixie gasp in a mixture of pleasure and pain. “Imeanonlyifyouwantoimnotgoingtoforce-“ Katya gabbled and Trixie sniggered.

“Way to kill the moment” Trixie rolled her eyes and Katya smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, I’ll try again.” She paused for a moment, contemplating her words. “I just have to warn you, I’m really dominating-“ Katya gulped and Trixie smiled smugly.

“I can deal with that. But since you ruined the moment, I guess you will have to wait for my jush” Trixie shrugged, a sly smirk adorned on her face as she got up from the bed and sauntered over to the curtains, which she opened with a loud thworp. Katya was left leaning hungrily on her hands.

“No no bitch. I’m hungry for fucking pussy hoe” Katya whined, and Trixie shrugged her shoulders lazily. 

“You will have to wait” she slipped over to Katya, standing between her legs and placing a bop on her nose as she looked up desperately at her. Trixie gave her one last smirk before leaving Katya and her wild thoughts alone.

————

It was on the last day of term when Trixie got her 1st term exam results back. She had felt on edge all morning, and despite the easy A* in music, A in English, and a B in chem, when Miss Monsoon had slipped her the paper that Trixie had spent many nights fretting over, she felt her previous mood of pure anxiety dissolve as she flicked through the pages quickly, making sure that it had had been marked correctly. 

“Holy fucking shit” Trixie uttered, her jaw gaping open. Katya looked up from her paper with a bright red A* covering the whole title paper rather obnoxiously, scanning over Trixie’s face with confusion.

“What did you get babe?” Katya frowned, trying to see the mark on Trixie’s paper.

“I got a fucking C. I passed the exam” Trixie whispered, just loud enough to hear. Katya yelled in delight, pulling the girl into an enourmous hug as Trixie said loudly: “I got a C bitch!”

“Miss Mattel” Miss Monsoon warned from the front of the class, making both Tatianna and Valentina whoop in delight, sending thumbs up over their shoulders, whilst Jade glowered in the corner, knowing her A didn’t match up to Katya’s A*. But even Miss Monsoon couldn’t conceal the pride, sending Trixie the tiniest wink, and making Trixie’s day even more special.

It was at the end of the school day when all of the girls gathered in the church to celebrate their Christmas Mass. normally, Trixie hated sitting through the hour long services, but the smell of pine in the air as she brushed past the huge Christmas Tree next to the alter just made her heart warm at all the memories she would be making this year with Katya and her family. She was terrified, meeting someone so special to Katya and not wanting the fuck up. The knowledge that both her parents were loud Russians scared Trixie even more.

But then she sat on the from row next to Courtney, (who she would be singing with in the service), and Katya herself and felt at peace once again. Even when both her and Courtney got up halfway through to sing a jazz version of ‘Have yourself a merry little christmas’, with Trixie on piano and harmonies and Courtney singing the melody. She stole a few glances at her peers sitting and watching them intently. She even saw Katya grasp Sasha’s hand and mouth ‘that’s my girl’. Sasha smiled knowingly.

When they had finished, they received rapturous applause from all of the girls that crowded the church, then proceeding in a laid back rendition of Deck the halls to conclude the mass. A quick high five and hug from Courtney as everyone began to leave and Trixie was left running after Katya, who had left with Kim by her side. Trixie snuck up behind the pair, who were giggling over something and Trixie snaked her arms around Katya’s back, causing her to gasp in surprise and look around quickly. She shot a small smirk. 

And then.

“Well done!” She squealed, Kim smiling at them both behind her as they stood in an empty hallway. Without thinking, both girls leaned in. The moment passed fast, with both of them not realising their mistake until after Katya had fondly pecked Trixie’s lips. They pulled away as soon as Katya’s lips made contact, turning around to find Kim’s shocked eyes staring at them both. Trixie subconsciously rubbed at her lips, where she could still feel the ghost of Katya’s lips.

“What...?” Kim began, before trailing off. “Are you two like, sleeping together?”

“Oh my god!” Trixie breathed loudly, shaking her head rapidly- as was Katya. “No we aren’t sleeping together”

“Then what are you?” Kim questioned. “That didn’t look like friends to me.” There was a quality Trixie couldn’t quite place in Kim’s voice. It wasn’t judgmental. It sounded more... concerned.

“Well” Katya spoke up, her usual confident voice sounding rather shaky. “I guess we are a litttle more than friends” she looked at Trixie reassuringly, who took her hand confidently. If anyone was going to be understanding, it was Kim.

“Cool.” Kim shrugged, turning back around and walking forward, leaving Trixie and Katya drowning at her back. She whipped her glossy back hair around again. “Well aren’t you two lesbians coming?” She smiled, leaving both Katya and Trixie smiling back. “Oh and, neither of you better hurt the other or else I’ll kill you.”

————

The last night of school meant the night that everyone had been talking of for the last 2 months was upon them. The Christmas Ball was clearly a well celebrated event, and when Katya invited her as her date last month, Trixie ensured that she had ordered her dress well in advance.

As she pushed through the decorated archway that was covered head to toe in wreaths and holly, with Sasha and Kim by either side, Trixie couldn’t help but feel absolutely stunning. She had abandoned her signature pink look for something a bit more sophisticated- a dark crimson Bardot dress, that fully emphasised every curve Trixie had. Her perfectly styled curls cascaded over one of her open shoulders, and she spotted a bright red lipstick in the shade ‘marilyn.’ She felt unstoppable.

It was like a scene in a movie as the trio walked down the stairs to the main dance floor, the lights dim but bright enough that everyone turned to check out the people entering. As Trixie looked around for her girlfriend, she spotted a few unfamiliar eyes on her, that belonged to the boys of the grammar school down the road from them. They were here as some of the girls dates, with Adore running off without arriving with Kim, Sasha and Trixie in order to snatch one of them up.

Trixie found Katya standing with pearl and Violet at the bottom of the stairs. Violet was dressed in a daring leather look (that Trixie was sure she was going to be told off for due to it being ‘inappropriate’), and Pearl sporting a flowing pale pink dress, that drifted around her shins. The pair looked stunning, however Trixie couldn’t help but notice a small stain on Pearls neck that looked suspiciously like the bruise that Trixie had to cover up this morning.

“Hey hoes!” Trixie sang, as she watched Sasha in her red roses look, take off to find her friend Shea in the year above, leaving Kim, Trixie, Violet, Pearl and Katya crowding the bottom of the stairs. Katya, who was dressed in a black silk dress with strange embroidery that would have looked stupid on anyone else but looked stunning on her, turned at grinned with the brightest smile Trixie had ever seen. “Trix you look amazing!” Pearl gushed, leaning forward to press to air kisses to both sides of her face, as Trixie giggled, feeling slightly intoxicated from the pre drinks Adore had tipsily served with the vodka she had stuffed under her bed.

“Come on. Your mine for the night!” Katya whined, pulling Trixie’s arm over to where she was standing. Trixie mused, winking at the girl as a reminder of not to kiss without thinking. The sound of laughter made Trixie and Katya’s glances shoot back round, glaring at the snickering girls.

“What?!” Trixie shot, as Violet smirked at her.

“You two act like fucking lesbians oh my god” she rolled her eyes, silencing everyone, Trixie and Katya included. They shared a brief glance. Violet laughed nervously.

“Oh my god!” She whispered in disbelief. “You two are fucking!” She got a bit louder, with Pearl clapping her hand over her mouth just in time for the teacher who passed them didn’t hear.

“Why does everyone assume I’m fucking her?!” Katya exclaimed, tugging Trixie in closer to her.

“Or I could be fucking you” Trixie argues, swinging her head round to face Katya who rolled her eyes in response.

“Nope. You’re such a bottom baby” she laughed and Trixie huffed. Katya wasn’t exactly lying. As she turned to face the others she had abandoned, they all look as confused as they were before.

“Wait are you fucking or not?” Pearl questioned. Trixie saw Kim’a eyes widened at her, silently asking whether she trusted Katya’s close friends enough to tell them. Before she made up her mind however, they were interrupted by Violet slamming her glass on the side and turning away from all of them, walking as quickly as she could. 

“Fuck” Pearl muttered, twirling a strand of her hair nervously before smiling apologetically at Kim, Trixie and Katya before running after Violet.

“What the hell was that about?” Kim broke the silence, as Katya and Trixie’s hands secretely found each other’s, clenching hard. They shared a look of pure confusion, that left Trixie wondering.

Maybe this school wasn’t so accepting?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oiiiii so don’t hate me.
> 
>  
> 
> I am so sorry that I haven’t been updating. I’ve had a heck of a lot on at the moment and it isn’t getting any calmer with exams left right an centre and more. But what can you do ey? I give you this update as a token of gratitude for still reading whilst I have been on hiatus and here’s to more Trixya in the future!

Despite the frenzied Russian that would often come out of her girlfriends mouth, Trixie was surprised to know she wouldn’t be on a plane to Moscow this Christmas, but instead, on only a short plane journey to Boston where Katya’s family resisded.

As the taxi pulled to a halt and the pair tumbled out of it, hauling their suitcases after them, Trixie’s sweaty palms gave away the anxiety she was feeling to Katya, who simply squeezed them gently.

“You’ll be alright baby. They will love you” she promised, the heat of her breath tickling Trixie’s nose in the otherwise freezing winter air. Trixie nodded, before looking up to the rather big 19th century house before them.

The rustic red brick looked simply gorgeous amid the white blanket of snow draped over every evergreen bush in sight, the green wooden door practically inviting them in. The house was not only beautiful, but Trixie could also tell how homely it was, given the grey cloud of steam coming from the chimney continuously, letting them know the fire was already waiting for them on the other side of the door.

Trixie watched as Katya tried to suppress her excitement, practically running up the stone steps to the huge door, her longish blonde hair flapping wildly behind her. Trixie could already tell how knotty it was going to be when she would comb her fingers through it that night. It would be the first time Katya had seen her parents since September, and Trixie knew she couldn’t wait any longer. She watched as Katya’s face whipped around with a smile, her red nose matching the red of her short puffy coat. Trixie grinned up at her, hopping up the steps, careful not to slip on the ice as Katya opened the door with a firm push.

Trixies breath faltered as soon as she was engulfed in the warmth of Katya’s family home. It was a rather grand house on the inside, with a large staircase taking centre stage in the middle of the hall, however, amidst the beautiful Christmas decorations, Trixie noticed the occasional homemade ornament sticking out with various feathers or rhinestones, something that only young Katya or her little sister could have made.

“Ahh Yekaterina!” A loud Russian voice interrupted the pair. Trixie pulled her hand away instinctively from Katya’s clasp as a tall slim woman, with shocking red hair styled glamorously turned the corner from the kitchen, where festive music was playing loudly. She smiled brightly as her daughter hugged her tightly, before she turned her gaze to the girl standing behind her. “My dear! You must be the famous Trixie”

Trixie opened her mouth to reply before she was tugged forward by Katya. Her mother grabbed both of her hands, looking her dead in the eye before kissing both of her cheeks, leaving a smudged print in the exact shade Katya seemed to be sporting.

It’s lovely to meet you Mrs Zamolodchikova” Trixie said honestly, not being able to help the grin on her face as a result of the pure happiness she was feeling.

“Oh you are beautiful aren’t you. Katya you’ve done well. And don’t bother with all these formalities, call me Natalya.” She insisted, opening her arm to guide the pair into the kitchen, where the music grew louder and the smell of food and Christmas trees getting strong, seemingly from the oven and the giant red and gold decorated tree in the corner of the kitchen.

Perched at the top of one of the counters with her knees crossed was a little Katya, dipping her fingers into a jar of Nutella that sat next to her. Her eyes raised guiltily at the sound of new people in the room. She gasped loudly when she caught sight of her big sister grinning at her, her own chocolate smile huge.

“Kat!” The 6 year old yelled as her big sister rushed over, picking her up and spinning her around, mumbling affectionate words into her sandy blonde locks.

“Ana, this is Trixie. Trixie, meet Anastasia” Katya said, eventually pulling her attention back to Trixie who’s heart was practically melting at the sight of Katya cuddling her sister in her arms.

“I like you lipstick!” Ana marvelled, pointing at Trixie’s signature pink lippie, and she blew an air kiss at the young girl.

“Thank you! It’s called baby doll. I can put some on you later if you want?” Trixie offered and Ana nodded enthusiastically. As Trixie turned to greet the next person who came through the door she heard Ana whisper:

“I like her Kat. She’s very beautiful”

“I know” Katya replied.

“посмотри на мою девочку! добро пожаловать домой Kat.” A loud booming voice came from behind Trixie, making Katya look over and rush over to her father, Ana still balancing on her hip.

“Hey dad” Katya mumbled softly into her dads jumper. As they pulled away, Oleg, Katya’s dad looked over at Trixie, who was standing next to Natalya, who was now perched on one of the island seats.

“Trixie! I’ve heard so much about you!” Oleg spoke in near perfect English, but with a thick Russian accent.

“It’s so lovely to finally meet you” Trixie laughed, offering her hand.

“Now Katya go and take Trixie up to your room and help her unpack. Tasha and Danny should be here later” Natalya spoke, before Katya grabbed Trixie’s hand and pulled her upstairs after her.

//////

A few hours later, after a huge meal with Katya’s family, everyone was gathered on sofas. Trixie was nestled into Katya, the hoodies they were wearing providing a kind of blanket whilst the fire roared and the tv which was playing The Grinch blared in the background. Suddenly, the door rang, pulling them out of their tired dazes. 

“They’re here!” Natalya sang excitedly, hopping up from the arm chair and rushing to the front door. Trixie stole a look at Katya. All day, she was so glad to see Katya’s face brighter than normal and to see a new and excitable Katya energy that only her family brought out. Trixie felt like she had discovered a new part of her girlfriend, but as she looked now, her familiar sunken cheeks returned and a worried look adorned her face.

“You are not going to do anything this time Kat. I’m here now.” Trixie softly whispered as Katya nodded, the door swinging open just in time for them to whip their heads around and paint a smile on their faces.

With Katya and Ana both taking after Oleg, it was very clear who Natasha resembled. She was a simply stunning girl, no older than 25 with bright red hair that could only be a result of her mother. Her pale skin complimented her natural makeup. Katya’s family had very good genes.

“Hey guys” Tasha waved, dropping her pile of bags and presents near the Christmas tree and walking over to the centre of the room to say hello to her father, who had gotten out of the second armchair to embrace his daughter. Danny then came into view, getting a high five from Ana and smirking at Katya. Trixie felt sick but she clutched Katya’s hand harder.

“Hey babe” Tash flopped down next to Katya to give her a quick side hug before turning to Trixie. “You’re Katya’s girlfriend right?” She smiled.

“Kat’s a lesbian?!” Danny gasped in shock before getting shushed by Ana who was curled up on Trixie’s other side.

“No she’s Russian, Danny!” She argued and despite the circumstances, both Trixie and Katya let out a little giggle.

“Ignore him,” Tasha rolled her eyes at her boyfriend before turning her attention back to the pair next to her. “So how did you guys meet?”

With Katya sat babbling to her family about how her and Trixie came to be, Trix sat looking in awe at the girl she had next to her. Not only was she lucky enough to score such a beautiful, intelligent and caring girl, but she had also felt immediately accepted by her family, something that felt completely foreign to her. She hadn’t so much as gotten a call from her mother so far this holiday, and with it being 3 days until Christmas, she wasn’t expecting one either. She decided she would call Kam tomorrow morning, to let him know about Katya and to wish him a good Christmas. She knew he would accept her for how she was, especially as he was the only one she had left. But Trixie didn’t need to think of that, for after all, she was perfect right now, sitting next to the one person she truly loved and the only person she truly needed.


End file.
